Adventures of the Naked Umbrella

I mean look at the fricking scores people! Here I am, my neurodivergent ass, crying and screaming with laughter at this film! I'm only half way through and I'm like "wtaf is wrong with people? This is a MASTERPIECE! And such beauty!"

Come on viewers - this is magnificent. Who cares about the whole conspiracy angle - maybe the conspiracies are real (hello : some conspiracies ARE very real - like CAPITALISM, baby! Best there is a BigMoneyTM knows what it's doing!) or maybe they're not - but at the heart of this story is LOVE - and omg the chemistry between these actors is so incredible that I believed they were in love. And I love them too.

What a superb film. Everything about this was queer and divergent and gorgeous and right. Thank you. I'll give it a 9/10 just because I want to invite you to come back with a sequel to make me a naked umbrella 10/10 film (shhhh it is already that).

Ps I am not sure if this has any spoilers - is there anything one can say about a film that isn't a spoiler - for someone?

Pps love you - mr or mrs or Missy reader - remember the world loves you back.

Ppps for anyone that suspects I'm on drugs - actually I'm just one big grown up kid who knows that the manual we've all been given on How to be Human - is wrong. *This* (points to self) is how you do human. Thanks. And good night. Kiss and heart emojis.

A conspiracy theorist, pyromaniac. Haven't heard of that one before! Jeremy Davies as 'Sam Wanoutsky' masterfully navigates this blast of a movie, expertly flipping from conspiracy podcaster, (sometimes channeling Robbin Williams' Good Morning Vietnam) to vulnerable, delusional misfit in search of his family. The fireside chat with the alien is probably my favorite scene, followed by Sam's encounter with a quicky mart clerk, (Mike Marks) who not only out-conspiracies him, (Birds aren't real) but also keeps Davies on his feet in this scene stealing cameo. Other standouts include Darnell Rhea as Sam's parole officer, "Yolanda" who keeps things grounded; Richard Riehle as a cross-dressing, drug dealing, "Granny", and the always funny Tom Arnold as the town sheriff, (Would've loved to see more of him!) Although this movie won't be for everyone, it's got so much going for it- think The Big Lebowski and other Early Cohen brothers movies with a "Sixth Sense" style reveal, I think it will be one of those films that pops up every holiday, (Oh yeah, this all happens at Christmas!) I was hooked! Well done.

I think this movie was really interesting and brings something unique. It wasn't really a comedy, it was more an absurdist thriller. I was clenched on the edge of my seat for the whole third act. This movie combined fantastical and realistic elements in a really interesting way which causes you to think more about the way people in this world act. The first act is pretty slow, but it really ramps up as you get closer to the end. The main characters were interesting and it was easy to see everyone's motivations for their actions. The movie is pretty intense and contains some dark themes, so be warned. Also I would say this is def at least PG13. Interesting comment on the world we live in, while also bringing some true absurdity to it.

One of the most beautiful and real love stories I have ever seen in a movie, wrapped in the most delightfully bizarre package.

Sam is a pryromaniac. A convicted arsonist. A conspiracy podcaster.

What caught me off guard is how genuine and kind his character is. How everything he does is driven by a will to do the best he can. To be brave in hard circumstances. He always tries to do right by Renee and Kevin, and the parole officer who's has become his only real friend.

I'm not going to speak to the plot directly. I had the benefit of seeing this movie knowing nothing about it, and I wish that for you too.

This is NOT a comedy. It's a drama. An odd drama.

There are multiple scenes and setting where the makers CLEARLY thought they were creating comedy... but there isn't any.

For the most part it's a pure drama focused ENTIRELY on "Sam Wanoutsky" (the "Naked Umbrella" according to his conspiracy theory pod cast). He's on screen a good 90% of the time. Frankly I didn't think the character was very interesting nor compelling. And with htat, the entire film felt unsatisfying and a waste of time. Many of these scenes are purely to try and show quirks that Sam Wanoutsky - but they weren't so much quirks as just stupid illogical actions. Much of it makes no sense.

Ultimately this film's plot COULD be written in two sentences, but I will avoid spoilers.

It's a waste of time with no real payoff.

For the record the perhaps the SMALLEST speaking part in this film is Tom Arnold's part. He is NOT a major character in this. He's a "known cameo" if anything.

----- PASS -------