Croczilla

Even by the admittedly slack standards of The Chiller Channel, infamous for some of the worst, low-budget, terribly-acted, cartoonish-CGI movies, this one is bad. Tao Guo and Barbie Hsu aren't, on the form shown here, qualified to act in a local theater version of Andy Warhol's "Empire" (it showed the Empire State Building solo for 24 hours). How this movie got 4.2 stars out of 10 is a story meriting a movie in itself. Given a choice, do anything else but watch this movie.

A large crocodile kept in a zoo is sold to be chopped out for meat but escapes in the nick of the time. It swallows a young woman's bag with her life savings in it. So the lady, as well as a disparate group of people, falls on its trail.

This is a relatively light-hearted crocodile-on-rampage movie as it doesn't feature much gore even though the croc does kill a few people. The cgi is not bad at all (much better than the recent Z-grade American croc films if you set your standards at that low level), but it still shows itself to be cgi in some scenes.

The highlight of the movie is when the croc enters a house, rampaging through a stairway, breaking through the walls and even assaulting people who had taken shelter at the roof. Subsequent scenes in which a croc trainer challenges and tries to subdue the giant beast just with a large stick are also very interesting; being a croc movie fan and having watched about two dozen croc movies so far, I had never seen such a scene before in any other croc movie.

There is a heavy dose of intentional comedy, some of which is tolerable and some of which is pretty pathetic.

This is not, in fact, a new mega-gator from the folks at The Asylum, but rather it is a very entertaining Hong Kong comedy film originally titled MILLION DOLLAR CROCODILE. With a fine cast whose performances are muddled somewhat from over-the-top and campy English dubbing, this is a fun story about an 8-meter crocodile that is sold by its keeper to a sushi bar, but it soon escapes and ravages the countryside. Peopled by a diverse cast of eccentric and crazed characters, including (in fine Gamera kaiju style) a young boy who befriends the monster, the story plays out in typical giant monster fashion, only with plenty of slapstick and funny asides from the characters along the way. CGI visual effects are acceptable to very good. The orchestral music score, attributed to a Chinese composer named Dong Dongdong, is very supportive a well.

This is the kind of movie that I would usually give a 1/10, but I get the feeling it doesn't deserve that. Yes, it's incredibly stupid, but it doesn't always take itself that seriously, though the key word is always. The issue with that is it isn't funny when it tries to be, but is when it doesn't, so it's at least slightly entertaining. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone actually looking for something good to watch. Honestly, I find it funnier that I own the thing than the movie is funny. So if you do decide to watch it, get some friends and prepare to laugh.

As much of a fan as I am of Asian cinema, then this movie was sort of a long-dragged session to get through. "Croczilla" ("Million Dollar Crocodile") is labeled as an action/Sci Fi/thriller. Right, so where does these actually come into play? This is more of a family/comedy movie if anything. Why? Well because of the silly storyline and even worse dialogue.

The story is about a huge crocodile that is sold to a shady restaurant in order to be turned into a dish for restaurant patrons, but the crocodile escapes death and captivity and wrecks havoc on the farming countryside. Where it snatches up the purse from a stranded woman. Determined to get her many Euros back, the woman sets out to track down the huge crocodile. A small boy and his father also become part of the crocodile hunt.

Storywise, then "Croczilla" was fairly weak. Sure it was enjoyable enough in itself, but the movie just came off as a cheesy and rather family-friendly movie, and not the action/Sci Fi/thriller it was intended to be.

This movie is meant to be seen with the original language track. Trust me! Don't switch to the English dub, because it is just awful. It is amazing that in 2012 something questionable as that dubbing still can take place. Not only is it bad, but it is so full of racial stereotyping on the Asian, that it is just offensive to everyone and downright racially inappropriate.

"Croczilla" is perhaps suitable for hardcore fans of Asian cinema, and that perhaps is a big perhaps at that. This movie offers nothing new, innovating or interesting to any particular genre, nor does it impress in any way.