I Am What I Am

So far, the only movie found with a canonical aromantic (aro) and asexual (ace) character! Hopefully this is the start of something good.

'I Am What I Am' has a quiet, gentle plot which shows Kasumi, a happily single AroAce woman, crossing paths with various people with whom she hopes to find shared values and connection and build long-term friendships. Sadly, she finds herself experiencing awkward social situations, painful misunderstandings, and negative reactions to her identity. The world around her (especially her family) is obsessed with romance, sex, and marriage. But Kasumi is entirely content with her AroAce identity, and so she is naturally irritated by the societal demands put on her. "Can't we just be friends!?"

Kasumi certainly has a relatable story for many AroAce folk, which I personally appreciated seeing. It felt genuine and sympathetically portrayed. I felt what she felt - the pain of feeling alone in the world and the frustration of stigmas and social pressure surrounding romantic partnerships.

It's a low-key movie with some abrupt plot turns, but a nice little story and worth watching, either to see yourself represented, or to learn about different kinds of people in the world. (My one wish would have been for the script to differentiate between asexual and aromantic. The film never really discusses sex or sexual attraction, basically only romantic love. Kasumi is more obviously aromantic, but she uses only the word 'asexual' to describe herself... This is just nit-picking from me though. The world is still only learning about asexuality, and no doubt isn't yet ready for aromanticism.)

I will tell you this first. Often Japanese drama is slower paced than some American or Korean drama (ones I'm exposed to), and I like it that way. It allows room for slow and gentle exploration of emotions and relationships.

The protagonist, Ms. Sobata, is aromantic and asexual in her early 20s. The movie is about her learning how to navigate relationships with people while trying to resist living in the rigid box of Japanese societal norms.

It was interesting to see how Ace's lives encounter struggles in Japan differently from in the US. In the US, the pressure comes foremost from the hyper-sexual culture. In Japan, at least in this movie, the pressure comes from the fixed life path of marrying an opposite sex and forming a family with children. That is expected of everyone and a person's lack of desire of doing so is deemed abnormal.

(Vague spoilers begin)

The ending is a bit cliche and cheesy. Sobata feels catharsis from meeting another person who is similar to her, seeking a life without romance or marriage. That is a typical catharsis in many queer literature. However, I didn't feel bored by the movie at all. The story of the protagonist is depicted beautifully in the unique way of Japanese movies. Many things (critical and mundane) happen around the floor table in the family's cramped living room. The walk home with colleagues at the end of a workday renders formal but shy attempts at confiding oneself and learning about the other.

(Vague spoilers end)

I would also note that camera work and acting were excellent. The bonding between Sobata and her father over cello was a lovely bonus.

This movie mainly focuses on an aromantic asexual character and their feelings around relationships and marriage.

Plot is terrible, it goes nowhere at all. There is no structure to plot and events take place randomly, that just makes the movie feel lengthy and unnecessarily boring.

Characters are 2-dimensional, and it is hard to connect with them. However, you maybe able to understand the main characters emotions as it is well dealt but as the movie progresses it feels really forced.

It is not great for targeted audience as well, as the minority may feel some connections to the characters reasoning, but again this is only if you are genuinely in the same situation in life, which is unlikely.

It's a little awkward at times, but I really resonated with the movie. The cinematography is good(in my opinion) and I love how we get to see her develop friendships, whether they last a week or a life. As an Aromantic person, my friendships are the most important thing to me. So I feel like it's important to show how much impact friendship has in our life's. It's also nice to know there are other people out there who are like me, whether they know it or not. There isn't much music in the movie, which can leave it feeling empty sometimes, but after the first 20ish minutes, you don't realize there isn't music. Overall, great movie, do watch.