The Confession Musical

Imagine the worst musical you've ever seen. Now imagine the most poorly filmed movie you've ever seen. Now imagine they've had a baby. That is what you get here.

Additionally, that baby was given away at birth and has just found this out. She will drop everything and leave her tightly-knit Amish community and the parents she supposedly loves in a heartbeat to go run off and meet her birth mom. A birth mom who happens to be wealthy and dying and leaving everything to her - but she doesn't even know this. She accepts being shunned in a very "dramatic" scene (yes, I mean those quotes ironically) and the next time we see her she's cheerily on a cell phone calling to find the woman who gave her up and lives either in New York or Canada. Miraculously, the operator finds the woman for her immediately. How convenient.

Not convoluted enough? The husband of the dying woman has hired an actor to pretend to be the daughter so he can steal his dying wife's money. Why? Who the hell knows. No one in this story seems to have any motivation for doing anything or any need to really work for any of it. It's a shame because if these people were two-dimensional then there might be something here worth watching. But these characters have the depth of a kiddie pool. A half-full kiddie pool.

The acting was mostly laughably bad, the staging was boring, the music unmemorable, and the character development non-existent. The script just doesn't pass muster. Hopefully this truly was a one-time event because unless someone wants to do a lot of work to this show it's not worth three hours of your time.