Monsternado

Inspired by one of the worst, although knowingly stupid, film franchises of recent years and brought to you by the production team of that awful Winnie the Pooh movie earlier in the year and countless other low budget, soft 'prawn' movies.

Everything is terrible. The acting, the plot , the script, the CGI, the direction......everything.

So why give it a two. Well at least they tried. They did succeed in getting a movie movie produced and released ( although I do think that this one actually escaped).

Also, why did a mostly British cast in a movie filmed in the UK speak with American accents. I know it was set in the states but clearly was filmed in London.....whatever.

Needless to say that I wasn't harboring any expectations to this 2023 movie titled "Monsternado". I had not heard about it, prior to stumbling upon it by random chance, and I sort of figured that it would be in the likes of the cheesy "Sharknado" movies. And since I had not heard about it, nor seen it before, then of course I opted to give director Tyler-James a fair chance with this movie.

The storyline in "Monsternado", as written by Derek Miller, is generic, so very, very generic. If you have seen any of the "Sharknado" movies, then you have essentially already also seen "Monsternado". So yeah, you're not in for anything grand here, aside from a generic and predictable plot and storyline. There is a sense of lack of coherency to the storyline, as it is a bit all over the place, as if writer Derek Miller wanted to be everywhere all at once. And it made zero sense that people would go about their daily business and routines on the streets whenever you saw streetviews in the movie, especially since there was supposed to be a massive storm with deadly creatures wrecking havoc on the city. It was just not logical.

There wasn't a single familiar face on the cast list, and that was actually something that spoke in favor of the movie, well aside from Danielle Scott. Yeah, I've seen enough questionable movies to reckognize her. I like seeing unfamiliar talents on the screen when I watch movies, so I was in for a treat here, if you will. The acting performances in "Monsternado" were fair enough for a movie of this type. Just don't go expecting award winning performances and you're not setting yourself up for disappointment.

You would assume that the waters around a massive water spout would be turbulent and tumultuous, but apparently not in this movie. And also, people with long hair near the spouts didn't seem to have billowing hair about them. So there were some serious issues going on with how nature works.

The visual effects in the movie are a mixed bag of nuts in "Monsternado". Some of the CGI looks corny, and some look rather rigid and fake. But then there are some effects that actually look good. But at least they tried their best. And in all honest, then the CGI effects in "Monsternado" weren't among the worst of effects I've seen in movies, and that counts for something to the overall impression of the movie, doesn't it?

And why is it that creature features like this always need to have growling sharks?

While I did manage to sit through all 81 minutes, I can honestly say that "Monsternado" is not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of "Monsternado" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

Plot

A tornado, infested with prehistoric monsters, has formed in the Bermuda Triangle, and is making its way towards land. Now the city must fight to survive against these deadly creatures.

Cast

Usual suspects Danielle Scott and May Kelly ham it up and Jase Rivers is just terrible.

Verdict

It appears Sharknado has started it's own sub-genre, as if Clownado wasn't bad enough now we have Monsternado and it's beyond abyssmal.

So to be clear there's no logical explanation for it, the "Monsters" are mostly animals or exaggerated versions of them and as you'd imagine the CGI ranges from bad down to Spectrum graphics.

The cast are weak, but our girls who play FBI agents oh dear that's next level cringe inducing levels of "Acting" and I couldn't use that word me loosely.

Monsternado is on par with Sharknado in that it's ugly, nobody in front of the camera is trying, nobody behind the camera knows what they're doing and it'll entertain you in the same way as a carrier bag blowing in the wind does. Namely you have no idea why you're even watching it.

Rants

You know instances where a person will defend someone who is entirely talentless and the reason is that they're attracted to them. Such as girls with boy bands or guys with the Kardashians! May Kelly is one for me, I like seeing in in films and appreciated seeing her here! Sadly the girl has the acting aptitude of a bag of farts.

Breakdown

Interesting premise CGI is very poor Acting is non-existent Oozes incompetence at every stage.

I typically enjoy cheesy monster and disaster sci-fi movies. I think I have probably seen all of them in the past 20 or 25 years. This one, however, is awful! It is the worst of the worst. I stopped watching it after about 30 minutes because it was a complete waste of time. The plot at that point was utterly ridiculous. The acting was laughable at best. The script was mostly expletives with very little actual dialogue. This is supposed to be in the Action and Horror category. Comedy of Errors would be a better category. I have watched a lot of bad movies all the way through. This one I chose not to because it wasn't getting any better and I wasn't wasting anymore time.

I usually like to watch these kinda movies when I am drunk, but unfortunately this movie still couldn't add to my drinking fun time.

What the hell is actually going on? They tried to take it to seriously. In Sharknado (which i love BTW) the acted seriously, to sell the un-seriousness of the obvious ridiculousness of they movie-making fun of itself. They tried to hard to "talk" everything out, no real eminent disaster, try to have to many character story lines, and stop sitting around and talking out the plot lines.

With that said, as a filmmaker myself, THEY STILL MADE A FEATURE FILM and I haven't yet.

So cheers.