Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves

This was the most exquisite, fantastic movie of my entire life. I have never seen such a well directed, supremely acted piece of work. The visual effects were absolutely stellar. I was titillated the entire way through. The dark humor was tactful and elegant, while the action was raw and coarse. It is not only entertaining, but exceptionally educational. The real story of Hellen Keller is honestly something that should be taught in schools across the globe. It is a story that needs to be told.

Unfortunately, my viewing partner acquired cancer half-way through the movie, so I was forced to halt my experience. I would definitely recommend to all ages, sexes, genders, and those with disabilities.

I love big budget comedies and this one didn't disappoint - the grandeur, the pomp and ceremony like no other movie. Here director Patterson melds history and pseudolycanthopy like Powell and Pressburger never could. How they trained thousands of wolves would make for a great documentary and I know the fan club is campaigning for it. What makes the movie even greater is the fact that the cast and crew worked in perfect harmony because they could relate to the dysfunctional Keller family.

Not everything was perfect, frankly, I found the movie hard to rate; I found most of the movie earning a 10 but where it fell short was the sad fact that the lead wolves were cast against type, que lastima.

For the full Helen Keller movie experience, watch it with your eyes closed and the sound turned off.

Now for the spoilers - the couple having sex get killed in the second act and Kate Beckinsale's cameo ended up on the cutting floor.

There are 3 types of cheezey B movies: a) those that take themselves seriously, but are just bad (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate, etc) b) those that are a spoof of "a" (Rocky Horror, Skeleton of Cadavra) and c) those that try to be "b" but fail. Helen Keller vs the Nightwolves is c. It wanted to be on par with "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" , but it simply isn't.

First off, I consider myself a huge Ross Patterson fan. I own all of his movies and his book and I'm pretty sure I have a lock of hair floating around somewhere in my house. That being said, it saddens me that I couldn't give this movie the stellar review I'd hoped. First off, the movie is outrageous, which is great; the title alone is enough to make a viewer chuckle. Second, the main actors did an amazing job especially Jesse Merlin who portrayed Helen Keller's gay brother. Now for the bad news. It seems to me that director Ross Patterson simply took the elements that worked in his previous movies (Voice overs for example) then did them to death in Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves. The scenes with Saint James Street James didn't even compare to those in Poolboy 2 Drowning Out the Fury, and a lot of the times the over the top elements of the movie went on just a bit too long and became annoying. To put it in simple terms, I just didn't find myself laughing very much (even while viewing during alcohol consumption), and that is why a viewer watches a Ross Patterson movie, to laugh. Any fan of crazy comedies will get a kick out of this movie, but in terms of Ross Patterson movies it is a HJ. It will never be your first choice, but after a sad sigh you will take it. No hard feelings Ross, looking forward to the next one.

Not only did the director capture the true essence of who Helen Keller really was, it seems like he LIVED it. Did I direct it? Maybe. But ask yourself this... didn't WE all direct it? Once you see these Nightwolves up close in stock footage you'll feel as if you were really there throughout every single last page ever taught to us in a history book. I for one LOVED it. NAY, I NEEDED this film. Anyone who says they didn't like this film probably needs to get their bicycle seats adjusted by a professional at a bike shop. Not just some hobbyist out in a garage. I'm talking about a real bicycle shop in a metropolitan area.