Juliet & Romeo

Please save yourself the time- this is truly a mess. Abysmal. Can't decide what it wants to be. Inauthentic. I could go on. This doesn't even get close to explaining how unwatchable this film is. Who wanted HIGH SCHOOL MUSIC meets ROMEO AND JULIET? I can't begin to imagine.

The one star is for Derek Jacobi - how on earth did they ever get him? He is fun to watch even if the rest of the movie is complete swill.

I also think someone should explain to the people who made this film that no one is interested in this being a series (hopefully the box office numbers already made this decision for them).

Two households botched alike sans dignity, In fair Verona, where we waste our scene, From pop-song folly and false mimicry Of love, thus butchered on a streaming screen.

"O teach me how I should forget to think," Cries Romeo, yet I remember still The cringèd tunes, the cuts that made me blink, A tale of woe refashioned void of skill.

What light through yonder edit breaks? 'Tis cheap.

The soul of Juliet drowned in soulless gloss; And Romeo doth pout, but cannot weep- For depth and verse are both a grievous loss.

This trash, a mirror of our addled age: Where meme is king, and fools deface the stage.

This film is a bit all over the place and never quite hit on what I think it intended to.

First, the cinematography is often jumbled and rushed. The angles are off and the lighting is awkward, many scenes leaving you feeling almost as if you're watching an older person play a first-person open-wolrld video game for the first time. Additionally, it appears that they have chosen to add cold air breath effects to almost every person speaking, even in daytime scenes. This became very distracting for me.

The writing in the movie seemed way off. Many times the characters used Shakespearean speak for dialogue, then other times it was modern, felt like the writing of a high school play. Then all of the songs were lyrically written in completely different form of speaking than the way the characters normally spoke in dialogue.

On the topic of the songs, they felt completely out of place from the rest of the movie. In many musicals, the songs fit in with the scenes and they feel connected, relevant, and as if it is a continuation of a scene, not a break from it. In Julie & Romeo, the songs feel like a break from the scenes. They feel very much like an odd music video in the middle of watching this movie. Many odd music videos. Every song sounds so musically busy and over-produced and it is very obvious the characters are lip-syncing.

The only good parts about this film are the set and then some of the costumes (some costumes felt like costumes, maybe even from Spirit Halloween). Also the storyline, while different from the actual story of Romeo and Juliet, was overall fun and interesting. However, with all of the other poor choices and challenges the writers and director took with this movie, it left me really disliking the movie. It seemed like the film was majorly suffering from an identity crisis and didn't know if it should be a retelling of the original Shakespeare play, a musical in movie form, a musical in theatrical production form, a modern day love story, etc. Seems like they tried to include it all, jumble it together, and hoped for the best. This movie was a mess and I was counting down the time for it be over from the first song.

For anyone reading this and then going to see the film, good luck. Hopefully you'll feel differently about the movie and actually enjoy it.

You'll either love or hate this movie, based on the reviews it's getting. It's only loosely based on Shakespeare's play so throw that expectation out. On the positive side, the production value is good and it has Derek Jacoby in a major role, a good sign. But you know it's sus when the writer, director, and producer are the same person (a Bogart) and another Bogart is an additional producer as well as responsible for writing all the songs, of which there were way too many and they sounded all the same. At one point one of the main characters was unconscious and I was thinking "well at least she won't sing now" but I was sadly disappointed. If you like a lot of pop songs mixed in with the plot, you might go for this. Personally I enjoyed a silent car ride home after the movie. Tip: Ask for a subtitle machine at the theater because otherwise you might not be able to catch all the dialogue.

There are some positives to this film: Costume design Scenery/staging Some of the cast - Derek Jacobi is a National Treasure, so we must assume that he was on holiday when his agent signed him up for this and you have to wonder how badly the Ruperts (Everett and Graves) needed the money but Jeremy Isaacs can have no excuse - he seems to be in everything these days.

But so much that is wrong (or downright bad) that it's difficult to know where to begin... The continuous intrusive music score - it's bad enough that it's there and I can't find words to stress the lie of "the greatest music of our time" (IMDb quote) but it's worse because cinemas turn the volume up so much. It is constant and drowns out much of the awful ...

Dialogue - trying desperately to hint back to Shakespeare and failing at every turn. There's even a moment when one of the cast says "oh wait" before delivering half a line from The Bard. And then there are the ...

Accents. OK so 14th century Verona would be a bit of a melting pot of cultures but Jeremy Isaacs' fake Yorkshire accent is just distracting even given everyone changing to American accents when they sing.

But the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel must be the total lack of chemistry between Juliet and Romeo. So little chemistry that no amount of their bad acting can make even a glimmer of a spark. It's actually a relief when they "die" (though being unconscious can't stop them singing)

At 2hrs 2mins of life that you will never get back, this is definitely one to miss but there's a closing threat of "to be continued..."