L.A. Slasher

Death to Reality TV.

I think it is safe to say that humanity is over reality television. Everyone wants to be famous for nothing, but the LA Slasher has something different in mind.

Dressed in garb that imitates the oddity of Michael Jackson, a self appointed crusader against the insipidity of Hollyweird decides he's had enough. Bubbling over with uncontrollable anger, he turns his violent urges to those responsible for today's preoccupation with trash television.

With character names such as "The Actress" or "The Teen Mom" or "The Drug Dealers" you really get a sense that the characters of this film are nobodies, just like their reality show counterparts. This detail is just one of the many subtle ways in which LA Slasher acts as commentator on modern day pop culture. In case you are a little dense, from watching so much junk-TV, the dialogue spells out the film's sentiment:

"Everybody hates reality TV. But they watch it just so they can tell you 'bout how much they hate it. Whatever problems you have, change the channel until you find somebody who's worse off and then suddenly your life doesn't seem so bad, does it? Well let me tell you something: it is that bad."

And who better to voice these disdainful monologues than the pseudo King of Reality Rubbish, Mr. Andy Dick, the voice and man behind the LA Slasher. Unfortunately these meta nods to garbage television end there, as no other humorous cameos make an appearance with the exception of Brooke Hogan. Some C-list actors like Drake Bell, Mischa Barton and Eric Roberts get to make fun of their personas by representing the loathsome reality-TV archetypes.

Based on the context of the film, I imagined LA Slasher to be a comedy-horror hybrid and it is not, nor does it try to be. The cinematography is deliberately saturated to mimic the grotesqueries of reality television and perversities of LA. LA Slasher also gets the soundtrack right with an 80s dance vibe. Midway through the film however, LA Slasher starts to lose its edge as it veers too far into the absorption of entertainment news with reality-TV and borders on monotonous when a change of pace was desperately needed.

Perhaps it would have been more successful if it tried to blur the line more into horror, but then again, perhaps that added burden would have doomed the film to certain failure. Regardless, I'm a sucker for this type of film and LA Slasher has humor, smarts, a cohesive plot, interesting dialogue and a unique point of view.

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Good horror, comedy: reminds me of some of my favorite firsts like Toxic Avenger and They Live... If you are 30+ years old you may appreciate this more, it's about a killer who go after reality TV stars (Remember when that crap was the buzz?). Haha, go in drunk, not expecting much and this movie is fun. Lots of fun with good, big name actors. Watch it now!

I believe the only way this movie got a rating that low is because of it hitting a nerve. In fact, everything about this movie is beautiful, especially the 80 - early 90-s stylized score. Well. of course, it's not a cinema Hall of Fame masterpiece, but it certainly doesn't deserve a score that low. The acting is bad - so bad to show how actually bad is the acting in modern shows and movies. Misha Barton fits perfectly, since she doesn't even know how to act. The rest of the characters - you want them to die from the moment they appear on the screen, that's the general thing about slashers. You might deny it, but you all know you want it - you would love to watch a whole Kardashian family slaughtered. Because that's the only thing they're good for.

When the original slasher movies came along the victims were usually students because with their sex, drugs and rock & roll they were easy to vilify, but there was always at least one you actually liked. This movie's 'victims' are influencers and social media 'stars' and none of them are likeable, this wouldn't be an issue if the main characters was better but between the mask and his voice, he's also generally unlikeable too. So, there's nobody in the movie to root for, or care about. About the only thing that could have saved it is if the scares were any good, but sadly not, at every turn the movie pulls it's punches and ends up very tame making the ending more 'laughable' than 'shocking'.

Basically the only good thing in the whole movie is the titles and credits.

The Slasher is hunting D-list Hollywood celebrities for his own reality show. I'm mostly watching this for Mischa Barton. This is ten years ago and I hope she is clean now. This movie is another step in her downward spiraling career. It is fascinating that she is playing a tired rich actress which is probably not far from her own life at the time. All she needs for realism is all the drugs. She still has her looks, but the spark is fading. Most girls do lose their career over time, but Mischa did not help herself any. The shocking face in this movie is Bautista. I cannot believe it when he shows up on screen. This is after Guardians of the Galaxy although it is possible that this was filmed before then. Also, Bautista seems like a guy who would honor his promise to do a krappy movie even after having a big successful breakout. As for the movie itself, it is Hollywood navel gazing and narcissism in criticizing itself. The movie is also a mess. P. S. The strobe lights are annoying and giving me a headache. They make me hate this even more.