Bad Things

Bad Things (2023) is a movie that was recently added to Shudder. The storyline follows a group of friends who are being supportive to a friend who recently inherited a hotel and hopes to either run it or sell it with her mom. It quickly becomes apparent that something isn't right and they believe it's someone not something causing their concern. Is the hotel haunted, is someone messing with them, or is it both?

This movie is written and directed by Stewart Thorndike (Lyle) and stars Gayle Rankin (Men), Hari Nef (Barbie), Annabelle Dexter-Jones (Ravage), Rad Pereira (Betty), Jared Abrahamson (Fear the Walking Dead) and Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles).

This had some unique elements and reminded me of a poor man's The Shining...like if it took place in the Poconos. The acting was actually pretty solid. There's some mental state subplots that were interesting. The characters are pretty unique too. Unfortunately, there was little to no horror elements until the very ending...then the last 15 minutes was impressive. The twists at the end actually surprised me that it was worthwhile with such a poor setup. There's some cool kills at the very, very end...but other than that this is fairly stale. I would score this a 4.5-5/10 and recommend seeing it once only for horror enthusiasts.

If this little gem is any indication, Shudder seems to have switched from producing horror films to producing horrific ones. The meager attempts to be scary in this script are bits lifted from other movies. Unfortunately these bits are so poorly directed they only serve to stir up unfavorable comparisons to the originals they were heisted from. Instead of the spooky little girls of The Shining, the hall of this film's hotel is haunted by two lithe young women jogging in place, looking like rejects from a failed aerobics program. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is also represented, and for more than one reason I wish the chainsaw wielding actor was wearing a mask like Leatherface.

Production values are rock bottom. A potentially creepy location is completely wasted on the milksop screenplay. Why there's a "production designer" listed in the credits is a total head scratcher. I would love to know what exactly they did to transform what appears to be a recently vacated hotel into what appears to be a recently vacated hotel. But maybe I'm wrong. Despite one character describing the place as "the Four Seasons of the 80s" it looks more like a Target shopping center converted into a Holiday Inn.

The costumes are a mixed bag ranging from ridiculous to hot. In one scene an actress appears wearing what can only be described as a clown gown ripped straight from the pages of a Zippy the Pinhead comic book. Earlier in the film we're treated to the same trans actress prancing through the halls in her underpants. We also get Molly Ringwold in a scorching red ensemble, looking absolutely delicious for a woman of any age.

If you're a fan of Shudder's agenda, which puts more emphasis on promoting progressive social values than providing scares, you might enjoy this tale of young LGBTQ+ lovers and friends wasting time in an empty hotel. Just sprinkle some No-Doz on yiour popcorn.

Hey considering they likely didn't spend 8 billion dollars producing this movie it is pretty good. Is it scary? Hey I'm very hard to scare so don't ask me.... but for the average viewer I would say it might have moments. If you are a fan of or familiar with The Shining, you could easily find this very similar. In fact I am certain there was some intent to make several tributes in this film. For me personally it felt like the goal was to root for the "monster". Each character seemed to be drawn as unlikable and you may wonder why are they friends? If you like a movie that is not real obvious about what is going on, this one can make you wonder..... I would not watch it again but it was worth one viewing.

For whatever reason I was swept up in the lesbian melodrama and I've frankly never seen Molly Ringwald looking so hot...but an opportunity was missed here. Instead of trying so hard to pretend this is The Shining (it's most definitely not The Shining) why not accept that Ruthie inherited a crappy motel and not a "hotel"? No one in their right mind thinks the building used in this film is a hotel, or that it was ever "the Four Seasons of the 80s." The motel portrayed here is a stock standard roadside motel and this movie could have been a lot scarier if it were treated as such. There is a lot more gritty dirt you can dig up in such a place - suicidal loners, teenaged drug-addled runaways, murders of street prostitutes in the days before GPS and cell phones (which was a real terrifying true thing, in the 70s and 80s - sex workers were constantly targeted before things like Internet and DNA testing). Plus on top of that there could have been the story about Ruthie's bad childhood and relationship with her mom.

But as it is, Bad Things is only fair-to-middling and because of the way it's presented it just keeps reminding you that it's Not the Shining, which is certainly a bad thing.

Watching this movie is like watching a car fire across the street. The only reason you keep watching is to see how bad it really is. You might hope it could become "so bad it's good", but no... it's just bad, but shows signs of possibly having had potential and that only makes it worse. I watched all the way to the end, unfortunately.

It feels like another film maker could have made a decent version of this film. There's some promising moments. (e.g. A super interesting "haunted" scene with a bunch of customers who probably aren't real.) However, the moments that are interesting only add to the disappointment of how bad the film ends up being, as a whole.

There are interesting characters here, none of whom are likeable because they are so terrible to each other, but that could have used somehow. Instead It's all just squandered opportunities.

I would have rated it a 1 except that a couple of the performers do a decent job. So, I'll give them points even though they can't save the script. (In the end I just felt embarrassed for them, having to have been in such a bad movie.) I'm sure the people playing the main character's trans/lesbian love interests could do well in other films. I'll actually look them up. I'd bet they are in better movies where their performances aren't wasted by bad writing/direction.

Better directing and writing could have resulted in a good movie, but in the end, this film just sucks. Its momentary glimmers of potential and its brief scenes generating interest, only makes its ultimate emptiness and disappointment more frustrating.