- Homer Simpson: I'm afraid of nothing, not even hellfires. Just please don't let me be played by Mike Myers.
- Mr. Burns: Behold, the most hideous of all!
- [Opens curtain to reveal Moe]
- Moe Szyslak: How you doin'?
- [Crowd gasps in horror]
- Moe Szyslak: Anyone here from New Jersey?
- [Woman raises her hand]
- Moe Szyslak: I'm going there next week.
- [Woman screams and faints]
- Moe Szyslak: My mother's wedding ring. She gave it to me in her death bed. She also acquired it in her death bed. That was a very busy death bed.
- Freaks: One of us! Gooble goo! One of us! Gooble goo!
- Homer Simpson: What does "gooble goo" even mean?
- Freaks: We don't know! Gooble goo!
- Chorus: [sung] Oh the Fat in the Hat doesn't care what moms say / The minute they leave you, he'll take you away / His breakfast is dinner, his dinner's dessert / You might see his name on an Amber alert
- Lisa Simpson: I thought I was just donating blood.
- Dr. Julius Hibbert: Oh, you are, along with lymph, spinal fluid and all the trimmings.