El Jardinero

Why are people giving money to the director David Charhon? Are they suffering from dementia? Have they seen his filmography? This man can't write, can't direct actors or crew, and can't edit. The Gardener manages to be worse than The Last Mercenary (which is already horrible), so congratulations! The cast? A botoxed K1 fighter, three terrible influencers, a rapper... There are fewer real actors in this film than influencers. Isn't that a problem? The direction of these people: zero. Van Damme looks like he's in distress every time he opens his mouth. Either he's unmanageable (in which case, just leave him alone), or someone didn't know how to direct him. Let's stop the carnage. Let's stop funding David Charhon.

Was really looking forward to seeing JCVD again, sadly this isn't kickboxer or Universal soldier. It isn't even remotely close.

From the opening scene the bad guys with their balaclavas and Assault rifles, really scary looking apart from the fact they didn't have magazines in.

The guy trying to evade never got above grandad jog speed before meeting his demise.

I lost interest after that. However being a fan of JCVD I continue to watch thinking it's got to get better. Sadly it didn't. It's classed as a comedy but I didn't find any of it funny or amusing.

Now I need to make up the minimum a.....

Watched about half of this move and then walked, so maybe during the second half it completely turned around, but I don't think so. And my expectations weren't that high: I was expecting just another typical JCVD movie, but was disappointed badly. Even for a JCVD vehicle the characters were caricatures, and in case of Micheal Youn's character, simply annoying. The acting is flat, the lines delivered like they were red from a teleprompter.

It's trying very hard to be an action comedy and it is failing miserably. The level of comedy would maybe mildly amuse my 5 year old niece at some points, but even that is a maybe. If you want French comedy try a Louis de Funes movie, if you want action watch an older JCVD movie, but this one is best skipped.

In short: it is a waste of time.

Beware folks, beware, this film is a total waste, a comedy, nothing else, not a gritty, bloody, brutal action thriller as you could expect. And the worst of the worst, the most unbearable, the most awful, gruesome element of the whole, is the presence of the horrible, slap head Michael Youn. Each time I tried to watch a movie with the slap head Michael Youn, I left after a few minutes. So, if you did not know the Slap Head Michael Youn, first, you missed nothing, and second, you have to prepare yourself, psychologically, I mean. It will be a shock, far more cruel than a Chinese torture, the absolute sadistic refinement that you may imagine. So, if you really have nothing else to do, escape from this crap at all costs; and choose THE BEE KEEPER or UNDER SIEGE - the Cook - instead THE GARDENER. JCVD is not a deception, he is just himself. No comment. He is not a slap head, he gives slaps....

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.