Mob Cops

If you start it, finish it. Trust me. How else will you know it's the worst mob movie of all time if you didn't? The first sign that it's a satire is the lack of Sicilian actors in the film. Nothing in the movie has a lock of substance. There's no scene longer than a minute because I assume that no casted actor could hold character long enough to keep a shot. Every conflict is quickly ended with a lame bozo line that only a bozo could think of. Imagine a henchman in the mob wanting to write a movie, but couldn't spell, so he got his Greek and Jewish friends who have hard-ons for poorly written DC TV series to write a mob movie for him "based on real events." A travesty to everything put out before this movie - not just mob movies - but EVERY movie period. At least The Room was endearing. The Wishmaster? MASTERCLASS compared to this sad attempt to cast two D-list actors and a former WCW world champion in a movie they expected anyone to take seriously. Worst acting, writing, and lighting. Just so bad. Rust will put this to shame no matter how bad it is.

First off , Arquette as a heavy ? Are you serious ? Continually squinting his eyes , even when he's indoors .The script is utterly tedious and the awful voice over ( courtesy of Abeckaser and his badly fitted teeth ) . Think Saturday Night Live doing a comedic version of Tommy Di Vito ( Joe Pesci ) times X . It really is that bad . This is on a par with the equally awful " The Many Saints of Newark " . Archetypal stereotypes who , on several occasions you expect members of the cast to burst out laughing as it all appears to be a big joke on us ! " I don't like cops , especially dirty ones " . Take the dog out instead.

How?

How is it possible to take the events of something true yet so unbelievable, something so fantastical with a brilliant story already laid out before you, something with a host of rich characters with a depth of depravity and mindless violence within the gangster genre AND MAKE ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES IVE EVER SEEN? This is the same as leonardo da Vinci doing the outline of the last supper then asking stevie wonder to colour in the lines. In parts it was like watching a badly constructed stage production and in others it was like watching an amateur dramatics society showcasing their talent though Facebook feeds. Just awful and such a shame this movie could have been brilliant given the money, actors and a director who can actually has direction.

Hard to watch, worse to listen to.

After Scorcese and Chase this is poor fare. The bar is very high, and this failed to even graze the underside. Arquette is not suited to this type of role, too mid west, his moustache was Stalinesque and equally fake.

They should have got Sammy the Bull to do the narration. He has told this story well. At the very least he could have polished the script.

Why didn't they use the real names. The Gaspipe story definitely deserved a better telling, bigger budget and a more washed out video like palette. Lighting was uneven and clunky. The incidental music was woeful and needlessly intrusive.

Waste of time.

I remember that The Wolf of Wall Street gained a reputation as the movie with the greatest number of F-Bombs per square inch in history. Until now. The only time I ever heard more F & C Bombs than in this hour and a half was a day back in 1982 when my dad was putting an IKEA Wardrobe together. This movie doesn't have a strong story, and every single character was deeply unpleasant. It wasn't entertaining, just 90 minutes exposure to an experience of lives that have no redeeming features. I'm not sure what the director was wanting to tell us. Anyone with an Italian name isn't very nice? Now, I'm losing the will to live, trying to write enough words to tell you to give the film a swerve. 2 stars for the fact that it ends.