Asesinato en el Orient Express

Difficult Kenneth Branagh makes, produces, and stars in good movies, and this version of Murder on the Orient Express features impressive sets, beautiful scenery, and lovely period clothes. An impressive case features Penélope Cruz, Johnny Depp, Derek Jacobi, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, and Kennth Branagh as Hercule Poirot. I think those who are not familiar with Agatha Christie, Poirot, or the story may very well like this movie.

I, on the other hand, was massively disappointed, especially by Branagh as a sort of English upper-class colonel with a stick-on cavalry moustache and by the needless addition of an introductory scene at the Wailing Wall. But I am prejudiced. I read the 1934 novel decades ago and again more recently. I liked the 1974 star-studded version with Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman, Jacqueline Bisset, Sean Connery, John Gielgud, Wendy Hiller, Anthony Perkins, Vanessa Redgrave, Richard Widmark, and Michael York—despite the fact that Albert Finney was a very poor version of Christie's Hercule Poirot.

In my opinion, the 2010 television version of the story starred David Suchet as the definitive Poirot, and the ending was far and away the best of all the versions with which I am familiar. So I think Christie fans may want to skip this edition of the classic.

This movie was clearly made for a modern audience with no familiarity with Agatha Christie's work. Branagh's portrayal of the legendary Belgian detective Hercule Poirot bares only a passing resemblance to the source material with an inconsistent accent, the wrong mustache, and only some of his iconic quirks and mannerisms. That being said, it is a decent mystery that follows the plot of the story pretty well and it would probably be enjoyable to people seeing the story for the first time and having no preconceived notions of what Poirot should be.

A strong supporting cast featuring Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, and many other familiar faces performs well. However, no one stands out in the way Ingrid Bergman did in the 1974 adaptation or Jessica Chastain in the 2010 version.

There were also several semi-action moments that were incredibly out of character for Poirot, yet provided no actual excitement to justify the sudden stylistic change. The ending hints at Death on the Nile being the next mystery for this detective masquerading as Poirot to tackle, but Poirot should not be summoned to solve a murder, he simply stumbles upon them whenever he goes on vacation.

There's a big problem with Kenneth Branagh's 2017 filming of the Hercule Poirot-based murder mystery…. and that's the 1974 Sidney Lumet classic featuring Albert Finney in the starring role. For that film was so memorable – at least, the "who" of the "whodunnit" (no spoilers here) was so memorable – that any remake is likely to be tarnished by that knowledge. If you go into this film blissfully unaware of the plot, you are a lucky man/woman. For this is a classic Agatha Christie yarn.

The irascible, borderline OCD, but undeniably great Belgian detective, Poirot, is dragged around the world by grateful police forces to help solve unsolvable crimes. After solving a case in Jerusalem, Poirot is called back to the UK with his mode of transport being the famous Orient Express. Trapped in the mountains by an avalanche, a murder is committed and with multiple suspects and a plethora of clues it is up to Poirot to solve the case.

Branagh enjoys himself enormously as Poirot, sporting the most distractingly magnificent facial hair since Daniel Day-Lewis in "The Gangs of New York". The moustache must have had its own trailer and make-up team!

Above all, the film is glorious to look at, featuring a rich and exotic colour palette that is reminiscent of the early colour films of the 40's. Cinematography was by Haris Zambarloukos ("Mamma Mia" and who also collaborated with Branagh on "Thor) with lots of innovative "ceiling down" shots and artful point-of-view takes that might be annoying to some but which I consider as deserving of Oscar/BAFTA nominations.

The pictures are accompanied by a lush score by Patrick Doyle (who also scored Branagh's "Thor"). Hats off also to the special effects crew, who made the alpine bridge scenes look decidedly more alpine than where they were actually filmed (on a specially made bridge in the Surrey Hills!).

All these technical elements combine to make the film's early stages look and feel truly epic.

And the cast… what a cast! Dame Judi Dench ("Victoria and Abdul"); Olivia Coleman ("The Lobster"); Johnny Depp ("Black Mass"); Daisy Ridley ("Star Wars: The Force Awakens"); Penélope Cruz ("Zoolander 2"); Josh Gad (Olaf!); Derek Jacobi ("I, Claudius"); Willem Dafoe ("The Great Wall") and Michelle Pfeiffer ("mother!"). A real case again of an "oh, it's you" film again at the cinema – when's the last time we saw that?

It's also great to see young Lucy Boynton, so magnificent in last year's excellent "Sing Street", getting an A-list role as the twitchy and disturbed countess.

With all these ingredients in the pot, it should be great, right? Unfortunately, in my view, no, not quite. The film's opening momentum is really not maintained by the screenplay by Michael Green ("Blade Runner 2049"; "Logan"). At heart, it's a fairly static and "stagey" piece at best, set as it is on the rather claustrophobic train (just three carriages… on the Orient Express… really?). But the tale is made even more static by the train's derailment in the snow. Branagh and Green try to sex up the action where they can, but there are lengthy passages of fairly repetitive dialogue. One encounter in particular between Branagh and Depp seems to last interminably: you wonder if the problem was that the director wasn't always looking on to yell "Cut"!

All this leads to the "revelation" of the murderer as being a bit of an anticlimactic "thank heavens for that" rather than the gasping denouement it should have been. (Perhaps this would be different if you didn't know the twist).

However, these reservations aside, it's an enjoyable night out at the flicks, although a bit of a disappointment from the level of expectation I had for it. I can't be too grumpy about it, given it's a return to good old-fashioned yarn-spinning at the cinema, with great visuals and an epic cast. And that has to be good news.

For sure, Branagh does make for an amusing and engaging Poirot, even if his dialogue did need some 'tuning in' to. There was a suggestion at the end of the film that we might be seeing his return in "Death on the Nile" – the most lush and decorous of Peter Ustinov's outings – which I would certainly welcome. He will have to find another 10 A- list stars though to decorate the boat, which will be a challenge for casting!

When I first saw the cast line-up for this film, I thought it was going to be a masterpiece. Kenneth Branagh, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp etc. The list goes on. But, it goes to show that a brilliant cast cannot make-up for mediocre.

I'm being careful to avoid spoilers here! The film starts with a relatively entertaining light-hearted action sequence which brings Poirot to the forefront of the story-line. But, it quickly goes downhill from here. We are then introduced to the rest of the cast and we quickly learn they all have their own stories.

After this though, the film becomes incredibly dull and slow. This remake is completely unnecessary and tedious

I have only given it 5 stars because I have significant respect for Agatha Christie's Poirot and it is only the base story-line which rescues it. Boring acting and predictable plot-twists.

Most definitely mediocre.

Don't watch this movie if you think it'll be the transposition of Agatha Christie's classic "Murder on the Orient Express", because THIS IS NOT IT.

The problem it's not just what they changed or omitted, but all the clues they invented to replace the real story make little sense.