Sleepin_Dragon

The tranquillity of an English country home is annihilated as the whole family reunite. Four very different sisters are forced to accept that their estranged father and his younger girlfriend have turned up for Christmas.

Ok, so let's begin with a reality check - this film is trash. I'd have more laughs swimming in shark-infested waters. There are zero laughs here. I detest the syrupy Hallmark movies, but compared to this monstrosity, I suddenly ache for them.

It's full of "names." Not talent - just names. And as expected, some of the performances are atrocious. There is genuine talent in the mix, but the likes of Caroline Quentin and Tallulah Riley are completely wasted. The script does nobody any favours.

The jokes don't land. Nothing is funny. Think of a whisky made purely for export: British branding slapped everywhere, Union Jacks for days, and aimed at people who don't actually know Britain. That's the feel of this film. The "Britishness" is cranked up - Rolls-Royce, Royal Albert, a grand old house, Basil Fawlty tendencies - but all reduced to caricature. It might play well in America, but domestically it's twee, charmless, and utterly unfunny.

On the plus side... Liz Hurley is still divine, and Kris Marshall gets the chance to play someone who isn't an oaf.

2/10.

Seriously - roll out the Hallmark Christmas wagons.

Karen continues to dig for information, and finally gets a break. She opts to keep the theft of her laptop quiet, along with her relationship with Phil. Isla starts her own digging, while DI Lees piles on the pressure and tries to coax her into spying on the team.

I'm struggling to see what Phil sees in Karen. She's written with so little personality here, quite hard to warm to, and to top it all she's sporting a bumbag. It can't just be me.

Is it me, or is this one a little tougher to follow? Episode one flowed so well, but this felt choppier, and I found myself having to spool back a few times to keep track.

Murray remains a puzzle - I can't tell if he's quietly brilliant or just a bit ditsy. Bel, meanwhile, should probably be running the whole investigation; she's got more shape and intuition than everyone else combined.

And when I closed my eyes during that prison scene, I swear I could hear Jimmy Cranky.

It's good, but it does feel padded in places. Hopefully the finale pulls a big twist out of the bag, because it could do with something dynamic.

6.5/10.

Ridley and Carol now have to find Tara and solve a murder, and they're left to decide whether the two cases are linked or simply running in parallel.

This was much more like it. I said in the previous episode that it had a Vera vibe, and that's even stronger here. The story is intriguing, and the conclusion is surprisingly satisfying - not at all the outcome I was expecting.

Acting is strong once again. Dunbar is excellent throughout, and I'll admit I even enjoyed his singing this time. It sounded noticeably more polished - I suspect this one may have taken a quick detour through a recording studio.

I do have a couple of gripes: two storylines were woefully underdeveloped. Darren's need for money leads absolutely nowhere, making his subplot feel pointless. And the Annie and Harry situation - all that build-up around the pin - fizzles out with little payoff.

Will the show return? Hard to say. With Line of Duty apparently returning to sort out the long-abandoned H plot, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

8/10.