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The well-edited opening scene was great - promising a slick sexy thriller. Instead, the movie was gloomily lit, glacially paced, and the sex scenes consisted of appalling sexual assaults, bizarre incestuous tones, and chemistry-free encounters with an implausible romantic interest.

The so-called intelligence service training - nor the actual job - didn't include cool gadgets or nifty fighting skills, it solely taught gratuitous nudity. Neither did the film offer any interesting or complex to say about this abusive system.

It's also disappointing that the movie had a top-notch cast, but they were largely wasted speaking American or British English with a wildly varied Russian accents in sluggish monotony - and I didn't care about any of the characters.

This bloated mammoth has swallowed a good, lean 90 minute movie.

At its core, you can actually find some social commentary and relatability: the jaded young woman who thinks her body is her only asset - but beneath the street smart exterior is a vulnerable naif, who wants to believe she too could have a Disney princess ending.

That however has been buried under a 90's rap video megamix, with interminable marathon of partying, gangsters, winding and grinding. When something finally happens plot-wise - the kidnapping and the chase - that too drags on and on, very loudly.

And why does Anora make her choices? In this voyeristic ad for fantasy strip club employment, you only have beautiful, healthy, fun colleagues, polite clients, and an understanding boss you lightheartedly negotiate your schedules with. What then is the urgency for Anora to escape that?

Anora is left somewhere in the sidelines of men partying, men chasing, men talking. Who is she? I feel I now know more about the bit part character Igor (e.g. Anora is barely onsceen during the last night at mansion).

The film is a perfect example of why you should never let one person script, direct and edit their film.

I enjoyed the easygoing chemistry Lacey Chabert and Scott Wolf - too bad they were playing siblings.

To me, the movie would've worked much better if it had focused solely on the family exploring past deceptions and quarrels, and the established couple working out their troubles - and everyone reconnecting just in time for Christmas.

Now there were too many subplots. The movie strived to pretend it's about the romance between Lacey Chabert and the small town man. That just didn't work, as there was no time for them to cultivate genuine feelings. Would've been better off left as just fun flirting, as they now had to shoehorn in a pretty cliched ending.

You also really have to suspend your disbelief and ignore plot holes, especially the way they're throwing around strictly regulated hereditary titles like Oprah; "You get a title! You get a title!" And seriously, what noblewoman would name their offspring Brad? He could've been a neutral James or David - instead, we shall have "Duke Brad".

All that aside, I found the movie to be a pleasant pastime. Beautiful set design, lovely locations in Scotland (Duns Castle) and some in Ireland. Plenty of Scottish traditions thrown in to differentiate from the American-set variations of small town shenanigans. Some good banter and a few pretty fun Easter eggs for knowledgeable TV/Hallmark viewers too.