csgeorgemanhl

It was the coolest movie ever when it came out and i was still an impressionably teenager. I though it was SO good. But now re-watching it as an adult i can see just how out-dated and trash the CGI is. And the story is garbage too. Doctor Octopus should have been knocked out cold after just one punch from Spider-Man but the story is so garbage they make it seem like Doc Ock is super-human or something. The characters of Harry and Mary Jane are absolutely abhorrent and I wish to never see them ever again they are the absolute WORST. Peter is dumb he should have just dated the daughter of his landlord. FORGET gwen and mary jane they are both stupid. Peter is so dumb in this movie it makes NO SENSE! I hate the cgi now it looks so cartoony and fake and aged very badly. Doc Ock doesnt have super-power so spider-man should have knocked him out cold immediately so this movie is a bunch of nonsense! If dock ock wanted to find spider-man by threatening peter, why would he almost kill peter by throwing a car at him? It makes NO SENSE! Mary Jane is the most unlikeable character ever why should we care if she is a damsel in distress? Let her died! She sucks! She cheats on every boyfriend she ever had! She dates Harry and makes out with spider-man! She says she loves Peter and dates John Jameson! She gets Married and then jumps on Harry again! She dumps John and Harry and jumps on Peter! She is no good! Just marry the Landlords Daugther! She is WAY way way way WAY hotter anyway! Mary Jane has screwed up smokers teeth! Forget Mary Jane! The whole losing your powers cuz you can't get it up thing is incredibly rediculous! If spider-mans powers are tied to his ability to get it up, then he is not really a super hero at all is he? This move was so cool when i saw it as a kid but now as an adult i just see garbage! Look at the way they cut Alref Molina's hair?! It looks so stupid! And the bad CGI! And he has no powers but he can fight spider-man for 2 hours without getting knocked out once? I CALLL B-S! Doctor Octopus should have been knocked out by the first punch from spider-man! MOVIE OVER! AND HOW COME HARRY OSBOURNES BUTLER NEVER MENTIONS NORMAN DIED FROM HIS OWN GLIDER UNTIL THE NEXT MOVIE? WHAT A CHUMP! And the initial reviews of Mary Jane's play are good yet she is canned and fired in the next movie? Makes no sense! Why does peter run around on a mo-ped and a car trying to deliver pizzas and get to Mary Jane's play in a timely fashion when he could do all of that so much faster if he would just web-sling as spider-man! He has apparently been spider-man for 2 years now at this point and yet he still seems to struggle with the simple things like how to get from point A to B in manhattan without wasting time. It is rediculous! Just like the way aunt may and mary jane can both grip a high-wire with the strength of a NFL wide-receiver and never let go of their grips on awnings and eaves and statues and cables yet the both can't seem to out maneuver a simple falling piece of debris and need peter to save them... NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE! How did peter even make that spidey suit by the way? And he seems to have trouble keep a min wage job but still can keep a multi-thousand dollar apartment in manhattan?

Why does this movie exist? I thought it would be a comedy, maybe a parody of the source material? But no, 10 minutes in and have yet to see anything resembling comedy. It adds nothing to the original. Ian malcom (goldblums character) was a minor character in the original but takes center stage here, flexing for the camera, showing off how rich and famous he is, and narrates the entire movie but fails to tell one singular joke. You'd think he would at least TRY to be funny. This movie seems utterly pointless. It just reminds me that i would rather be watching the original.

They retconned samuel jacksons death in the film, too. His character apparently lives to the end to be a hero who reboots the park. As far as i can tell there was only one joke in the whole movie; a dinosaur steps on a lego, and it happened 15 min in to the 22 min feature. Pointless.