Married..... With Children

While secretly going through Steve and Marcy's mail, Al and Peggy fill out an application to a TV game show called "How Do I Love Thee" where the objective is a Bundy natural: surviving physical torture from one's spouse. Al and Peggy appear on the show pretending to be Steve and Marcy and they easily win many prizes. But when Steve and Marcy find out, they appear at the end of the show pretending to be Al and Peggy, and the husband that survives the most torture in an electric chair wins a new car.

After going with Steve to the racetrack, Al is reluctant to reveal that he won $1,200, because he knows that Peggy and the kids will take the money for themselves. While Al tries to throw off Peggy's suspicions with sex, Steve asks for increasingly exuberant bribes of Al's racetrack winnings so he will keep his mouth shut about the money.

Al's quiet three-day weekend plans to watch his favorite John Wayne movie "Hondo" are ruined when Peggy's eccentric relatives arrive from Wanker County, Wisconsin: her unseen, obese mother; feuding uncles, the hulking Irwin and the effeminate Otto; and singing, dancing, guitar-playing triplet aunts whose showbiz career is threatened by Al's bad advice. Al then intrudes on Steve and Marcy's romantic evening to complain about...the in-laws intrusion on his "Hondo" weekend.

Al discovers a library book that was due in 1957. He must return it to the library and face up to his worst childhood fear: the librarian.

In the infamous "Lost Episode", Al and Peg learn they have been videotaped being intimate at a sleazy motel. The same thing has also happened to Steve and Marcy. They decide to take the matter to court.

The Bundys go out to a fancy restaurant to spend a great windfall, an inheritance check for $237 from a late uncle of Peggy's. But it becomes apparent that fine dining in public is not a part of the dysfunctional Bundy lifestyle. Matters are made worse, when Al forgets to bring his wallet.

Kelly invites Peggy to her school as part of a presentation for career day.

After Kelly gets in trouble at school, the only way she can get out of punishment if she joins the school's tap-dance club.

One morning, Al discovers that his Dodge has been stolen. At Jefferson's behest, Al decides to cheat the insurance company and enjoys renting a loaner Lincoln Town Car...Until the police find his beloved heap.

Bud's cousin gets divorced after finding out that his wife did the deed with Bud just before their wedding. Or rather, he doesn't exactly know it was Bud, but he's determined to find out. As Bud waits for the hammer fist to fall he turns to Al, of all people, to discuss the morality of his actions.

A rich hot babe from Al's past thinks Al is a disgusting pig. But she likes that in a man. So she offers to buy Al for half a million dollars.

When Al manages to get two prime tickets to a charity all-star basketball game, Peggy spoils his fun by insisting she come along. Things turn even worse for Al when she trades seats with him just before his former seat is chosen for a $10,000 free-throw contest. Meanwhile, Kelly tries to get herself basketball player Vlade Divac.

Al is thrilled when his childhood friend asks for his help in dealing with a young thug and his gang who have been harassing her at the inner city convenience store where she now works. But how does Al explain it to Peggy? Simply put: Al checks himself and Peggy into a local hotel near the rough neighborhood and sneaks out to confront the thug Ray-Ray and his gang, only to get beaten up by the youths again and again.

The other Bundys think Bud has flipped out when they overhear his basement conversion with his 'cool' alter-ego who arrives from another universe and shows Bud the tactics on picking up women. Meanwhile, Al has a personal battle of his own with a voice-over phone service to order a purchase for a new spare part for the Dodge.

Kelly is back as the Verminator, Bud is off to the frat house, and a run of good fortune convinces Al that the Bundy curse, dictating that every silver lining hides a thundercloud, is about to strike him down.

Marcy tries to overcome her fear of public speaking by fantasizing that she's elsewhere (having sex in the bedroom), which is a real treat for the audience. But the only people that are turned off by Marcy's simulated lovemaking skills are an embarrassed Jefferson, a shocked Peggy, and a disgusted Al who's hooked on rap videos.

Convinced they can share, Kelly and Bud pool their money together so they can buy a car for themselves, which both want, but neither will surrender, for a time alone in the car with their drive-in movie dates. Meanwhile, Al is happy after he intimidates Peggy into buying him some meat from the supermarket.

On Halloween night, the Grim Reaper (in the form of a dark-haired, pasty-faced Peggy) finally answers Al's inadvertent long cried call for death and won't leave him until one of his family members say that they need him. Meanwhile, Marcy convinces Peggy, Bud, Kelly, and Jefferson to impersonate the Village People at a party she's hosting honoring female spouse murderers.

Al hires Aaron, a recent Polk high school graduate, to work in his shoe store for the summer. Aaron sees Al as a hero and when he announces of his decision to marry, Al takes full advantage by giving the boy the benefit of wisdom not to ever marry and become like him and millions of other long-suffering married men: losers. Meanwhile, while working as the Verminator, Kelly accidentally gets a face-full of bug spray which causes her to start behaving very strangely.

When Al and his friends get fed up with the women taking over their Jiggly Room and their bowling night, thanks to both Jerry Springer and Marcy D'Arcy, they form a secret organization called NO MA'AM and hold Springer hostage on his own show with an audience filled with men donning the NO MA'AM shirts. They intend to perform television's first sexorcism, which includes them forcing him to watch hours of pro-wrestling. They'll also force him to wear a stinky, yellow undershirt and a pair of boxers with the words "It's All Me" until the women who took over their Jiggly Room and their bowling night comply with their demands.

Peggy and Marcy's constant demands for belly rubbing and expensive baby accessories drive Al crazy, prompting him to make a run for it. He and Jefferson end up at a bar connected to the bus station and watch semi-nude dancing girls while talking about a new and better life without their wives.

When Al unearths his father's old hammer, he decides to turn the garage into his own private room to escape his pregnant wife. All goes well, until Jefferson and the guys crash in. Even worse, it's only a matter of time before their own pregnant spouses find out.

Kelly earns a quick $1,000 at hustling pool to buy a gown for the local Miss Cheese competition, and a suspicious Al is out for blood, mistakenly thinking that Kelly is into prostitution. Al is then out of blood when he sells his to get Kelly and manager Jefferson the money for a major pool game bet.

While Peggy is away helping Marcy recover her precious childhood belongings that Jefferson abandoned in a storage locker to be auctioned off in which he pocked and gambled away the money, Al, Kelly, and Bud hold an anti-baby meeting and makes plans for a new "Bundy World Order" that includes food, clean clothes and a huge hooter-ed oriental maid to replace the "pegzilla" Peggy.

Al finally gets cable TV installed in the Bundy household, but he cannot find anything good to watch. All that changes when Kelly, gibed out of an appearance on a public access TV by her modeling school teacher, gets her own talk show on the air with just $35 from her girlfriends. "Vital Social Issues N' Stuff With Kelly," features an all girl band and some of her friends discussing subjects such as "mens butts" and "the slut of the week."