You Say You Got a Resolution?

Alfie - "In a flash I have my New Year's resolution: Aim higher."

The Joker - "I'm interrupting the Toilet Bowl to bring you my very special New Year's resolution: Ahem, starting tonight at midnight, I, your loving uncle Joker, do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year. Which means I'm going to have to work extra fast to bump off a few more of you today."

Hilary Banks - "I'm making a New Year's resolution to find a job...right after Easter."

Chandler Bing - (after Ross bets him he can't go a week without making fun of his friends) "I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the 'new thing you do that day!' (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!"

Kensi Blye - "I've made it a week without refined sugar."

Charlie Brown - "You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time."

Phoebe Buffay - "Mine is to pilot a commercial jet."

G. Callen - "My New Year's resolution--I'm off caffeine. Never felt better."

Ana Francisca Canto e Mello - It's a new year, and a new year we should begin as a white page, where we should write our life again. It is time to forget the miseries, the sadness, and go ahead."

Nora Charles - "All right, I'll remember: Must scold, must nag, mustn't be too pretty in the mornings."

Gil Chesterson - "My wife and I made a New Year's resolution: Deb and I have joined a gym to slim down and buff up."

Monica Geller - "My resolution is to be less obsessed with being neat and clean. Or something else. It's my New Year's resolution to take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures."

Ross Geller - "Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution."

Lorelai Gilmore - (to Rory) "I have a new year's resolution for you: become more cynical and self absorbed."

Rachel Green - "All right. Ok. Fine-fine. My New Year's resolution will be not to gossip! Easy though."

Bridget Jones - "New Year's resolution: drink less...and quit smoking...and quit talking total nonsense to strangers...actually, quit talking, full stop."

Pauline Parker - "My New Year's resolution is a far more selfish one than last year. It is to make my motto, eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow, you may be dead."

Mrs. Pring - "Every year, just before Christmas, Father D makes a resolution to be good. Heaven knows: when he's bad he's hard to live with, but when he's good he's awful."

Reverend Frank Scott - "So what resolution should we make for the new year? It's to let God know that you have the guts and the will to do it alone. Resolve to fight for yourselves, and for others, for those you love. And that part of God within you will be fighting with you all the way."

Joey Tribbiani - "My New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar. You know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it if one of those was true."