I love movies. I love good movies. I love bad movies. I even have a soft spot for mediocre movies, especially if the people making it did something to amuse, entertain, move, enlighten, scare, horrify, or otherwise reach me.
This movie came on automatically after I watched another movie. Given the title and the running time, I figured, why not? I like werewolf movies, from the great Lon Chaney, Jr., classics to the jaw-droppingly bad Wurrwilf (I mean "Werewolf"), a movie that taught us that everyone in Arizona is from another country (except the great Joe Estevez) and that a terrible script mispronounced badly enough can still be darned entertaining (shades of "Plan 9").
I haven't said anything about this "film" yet, which is appropriate because it may well be the least content-rich horror film ever made. You will long for the pacing of "Manos." Most of the footage records our lead walking slowly in her apartment, stirring a bowl of plain spaghetti, standing at the kitchen sink, taking showers with the curtain halfway open so that we can see an "homage" (or rip-off, you decide) of the drain shot from "Psycho," staring into an empty fridge, sitting at an office desk at a computer that shows a screen saver from one angle and what looks like static on an aerial TV from the other because no one involved knew how to film electronic screens, etc.
On a few occasions, the whole screen goes pink and the brightness is distorted as she lies on the floor in a fetal position, has what I gather are supposed to be passionate lesbian encounters or a engages in a bit of monster activity. Over and over, when anything happens (and often when it doesn't) we go into slow motion ... verrrrrrrrry slow, accompanied by lighting and camera effects that are close to unwatchable and make it impossible to see most of what is happening. I imagine that werewolf effects that could be watched were far beyond the budget and abilities available. The same seems to be true of the love scenes. Perhaps the actors were unwilling to perform sex scenes that could be seen. The slow-motion pressing of lips on each other's chins and shoulders that can barely be discerned makes it seem as though the actors really didn't want to touch each other. Perhaps they had something nasty for lunch before filming? What we can see of the werewolf activity is equally tepid and unconvincing.
The movie has almost no dialogue; sound is basically droning or honking noises punctuated occasionally with sound effects linked to events on screen, if you want to call them events. Sometimes a cello is heard, also droning.
The actors seem to be sleepwalking. The whole thing is hugely pretentious. The pace reminds me of Andy Warhol's 24 hour film of the Empire State building doing what it does best, standing still.
I feel bad being so harsh, but those involved are depriving viewers of time and perhaps of a chance to see something made by someone more competent and less full of ... himself.
One last thing: no one gives any sign of being a werewolf other than a shot or two of a mouth with what appear to be vampire fangs. So, what makes this a werewolf movie? Other than the lead standing in a forest for a while before we enjoy an overlit lingering closeup of the underside of her tongue and her hair being messy at the start and end, only the title.
