Bite

But good God did they pull those horrid actresses randomly off the street?! That was the real horror here. It was like a bad high school play and the dialogue made it even worse. 5 stars for all the slimy gore, but zero stars for the laughable and cringy acting.

After seeing the trailer for Bite and reading online articles of how viewers at various film fests passed out during showings, I couldn't wait to see it, After more than a year it (at last!) popped up on my local cable channels On-demand roster. I happily shelled out $5.99 and hoped to see a film that would at least make me flinch several times.

But like $100 pay-per-view fights, unorthodox political candidates, and most rap CDs, this film didn't come close to living up to the hype. Bite, simply put, is done in by its own excesses. When a horror film relies solely on gross-out gimmickry rather than clever use of lighting, camera angles, or plausible plot, then the element of fright is replaced by boredom, nausea or both. Community theater acting doesn't help.

Elma Begovic plays Casey, a recently engaged twenty-something who while out celebrating with her girls, is bitten by some sort of water insect. Rather than seek medical attention, she ignores the mark left behind, even as it becomes larger and more disgusting. By the time Casey realizes this is no ordinary wound, the drastic effects are manifested.

This film contains every horror movie cliché you've seen before— single females going into dark venues to investigate; single woman falling down as she attempts to flee; overblown makeup to accent the drastic physical changes of victims; and sex scenes that are not only gratuitous, but fail to deliver the expected shock—say in the manner of the bedroom scene from the first Nightmare On Elm Street.

Poor pacing and the lack of anything original makes one want to yawn rather than scream. The director (Chad Archibald) has no idea how to use shadow or the camera to build suspense. It is so drab it makes anything produced by Rob Zombie look Oscar-worthy.

If you like being grossed out, you might get excited by Bite. If you're looking for something that makes you worry about having nightmares when you fall asleep, you'll find more chills—and better acting—in episodes of The Outer Limits.

The acting is sub par and isn't helped by a shoddy script. Where the budget was used well was on make-up and practical FX.

The title card was played over loud eerie music that was blatantly stolen from Insidious (which is also rubbish).

The body horror was stolen from The Fly.

The cocoon ideas were stolen from Alien(s).

6.25 of 10. If you're looking for something beyond another spider film, The Fly, Spiderman, or the Thaw, this adds something new to mix. It's also ahead of the curve on the zika-like infections.

Excellent visual and sound FX for a low-budget, indie film where the writer and director are the same person.

So much horror is fantasy based that another strong part of this film is that there's reality/science integrated into the horror. If you want horror that's not based purely on nonsense, you'll definitely appreciate this film.

The only weak part of the film involves the casting. With more budget and bigger actors, this could have easily been a more recognized film. As it is, it will probably pick up a cable audience and eventually turn into a cult hit.

Look, I get that the transformation body horror genre can get tired, but if done properly it can still be good with gross out moments. This is no exception. Certainly not the most amazing movie, and it certainly paid more than its share of homage to The Fly (1986).

Good story, decent acting, just enough length to get in then get out to the next film. In the meantime, it still offers the pukey moments and makes you want to shower.