Baggerführer Bob

.. like time, effort to find it, money etc - but mostly time.

at a convention, the writing "OLAF ITTENBACH" jumped right into my face, from a basket of 2-bucks-dvds. as a long-time admirer of the master of german gore, i was foolish enough to grab it.

and then i actually sat through the whole runtime, my jaw already down to my chest, until finally the credits started.

so why was it bad?, a curious reader might wonder. let me reply with: what wasn't? story: alright when it comes to amateur flicks it's unfair to ask for the story. there was a plot, no doubt, and it wasn't even that bad. the problem was the execution: poor of the poorest. whole movie is filled with utterly unfunny "comedy", to call the actors wooden would be a horrid understatement, and the tiny tiny occasions where herr ittenbach can show his skills look like a black pearl in a pile of rotting cattle guts.

there's no point in losing words over production, setting or even character development. just the soundtrack deserves a mention: as a native speaker i squirmed in my seat more than once. it's the nightmarish stuff you straight away associate with ballermann or similar requiems of dignity. let me, as an epilogue, repeat that i really enjoy most low budget gore flicks from germany. but this one was just.. well, read above. at least it cancelled my feverish search for taubert's other works.

If you look at modern day movies most of them just suck. The Story is bad, the script is awful, the set is a blue-screen, just one actor does a decent job and there's millions of dollars worth of special effects. That pretty much summarizes like every big blockbuster of 2014 and most likely 2015.

So there is a certain "aww this will be bad anyway" mood when I'm watching a movie. This one however deserves something like a couple of anti-Oscars for the acting, the effects, the story, the direction, the producing, the set, the script, the music and everything because I cant possibly imagine anything to be worse than it is. Usually trash movies are at least funny but this one somehow manages to as fun as.... I cant even think of a decent comparison.

But after watching this mess I promise you that you will look at all the other movies with a different perspective. You'll start to appreciate the acting of a Kristen Steward, the story of a Transformers movie and even jar-jar binks stepping into poo doesn't look that bad anymore.

So in the end this movie is about 70min of pure pain but you get a lot for watching it. Have a try, see how long you can bare to watch it, make bets with your friends if you like.

I would have given it a lower rating, but there is one song in this, that is just too damn funny ... well I'm a sucker for certain things I guess. Overall you should know what you are getting with a movie like this. Even a well know German actor is in it, for a little bit, to make some money. You can't blame him for that. Nor the movie to have someone to promote this low budget trash with.

There is also a former porn actress in it, though there are not explicit sexual situations (there is nudity and a lot of blood of course). The jokes and the acting go hand to hand ... all the way down. Not good then, but maybe that is what you are looking for