San Andreas Quake

This movie contains all the clichés from the 60's disaster movies with none of the saving graces. The only thing missing is Los Angeles turning turtle in middle of the Pacific Ocean and everyone climbing up towards the keel. There is even an old man having a heart attack climbing stairs.

Writing is terrible, the dialogue is pedantic, and the special effects are directly out of the 90's.

The characters are barely one dimensional and the plot totally predictable. Clearly the producers are counting on the confusion of names: "San Andreas" vs "San Andreas Quake."

Glad that I did not pay to see it, but I still want my 90 minutes back!

From the cinema trailer i expected totally something else. I literally wasted 80 minutes of my life. This crap movie does not either deserve one star. I think i can be a better actor than that second hand actors and i am a musician. So predictable, so lame, a piece of %%$# in other words. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE! It's horrible. I can't even imagine that a movie can be so horrible. I though that i watch cartoons at some point. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL MY RATING: -10/10. I can't even write something about this movie because there is nothing to write, it's a very very very bad scenario, forget everything i said. EVERYTHING is bad in this movie. Don't Watch it! You'l have nightmares.

The Asylum is back with another great Mockbuster. Having brought us previous masterpieces such as Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, AVH: Alien vs Hunter, The Day the Earth Stopped, Paranormal Entity, and Sharknado.

I find it hilarious that these guys actually make money by tricking people into thinking it's a different movie. At least sometimes the title has a little creativity in it, and that's about it. But "San Andreas Quake"? They basically only have one job, create a title that will fool people into thinking it's a much better movie, and they can't even do that properly. What sort of title is San Andreas Quake? They aren't even trying.

It'd difficult to know where to begin. Firstly I guess it's my own fault for not looking too closely, but this wasn't the movie I was expecting to be watching. A friend of mine worked on "San Andreas", and I know his FX work is way better than I was seeing on screen. The next big mistake was to carry on watching it. What an absolute pile of trash. 80 odd minutes I've lost for all time. Please take my advice, don't bother watching this movie, It's VERY badly acted, technically..! It would be very insulting to decent film and media students to compare them. And the....... actually, there's really no need to break it down any further. It is simply AWFUL.

There are 2 things that you have to keep in mind when you are watching this movie. First; it is made by a company called Asylum and second; don't get excited by the pamphlet which is showing people hanging out on a chopper.

As with all the other movies made by Asylum, you have to understand this is a B grade movie. I don't even know if this kind of movies will see the day they deserve in the cinemas. For a company who has made hundreds of movies, I am really surprise that they have never graduated from the B grade or just quit the business of making movie. Surely they must understand that making a crappy movie will mean loosing money.

There is no logic in this movie, there is no plot and I don't even know what the story is about, except it is about the famous San Andreas Fault. Most of us have seen the picture of devastation in 1906 during the California's earth quake caused by similar San Andreas fault. The whole city was destroyed. But not in the case with this movie. Of course there are some CGI scenes with the collapsed building, broken road, damaged bridges and fires (although I have no idea, why there is always fire) and to complete the danger, a high voltage cable which is floating around to kill people.

It is always a disgraced brilliant scientist which no one believe who developed the method of finding the most important information to support the story. Since nobody believe her, our hero has to go half across the state of California to save her family. I am not sure who give the background information on the technology, but when your cellphone does not work, logically the wireless equipment also not working ? Right ? Wrong...., because in this movie, your cellphone quit working but your other wireless equipment will also quit working, but not in this case; the wireless equipment that is showing the earth-quake keeps on having the internet connection and feeding the data as well even after the big quake happens.

Of all the things that defy the logic, I would not think that in the earth-quake situation, you will try to go through the underground tunnel to reach a place. I would have thought underground tunnel is one of the most dangerous place to be, but not in this movie. All in all, I know this is a movie and you expect exaggeration on the story, but Asylum is really making this movie with the assumption that most (if not all) the viewers are stupid idiot.

I wonder, whether in real life this kind of movies really has any fans. To copy-cat the movie is okay, but do it with more effort, not just with the attitude of neither here nor there.....