Los sanguinarios

You Can't Win 'Em All (1970)

** (out of 4)

Mildly entertaining action film has former WW1 soldiers traveling to Turkey where they are hired by Osman Bey to help guard a gold shipment but after countless double crossings and twists, the soldiers begin to realize that there might be something more at stake than just gold. It's important to note that the soldiers are played by Tony Curtis and Charles Bronson and those names are big enough to make you want to keep watching even when the film itself starts to unravel and come apart. The movie gets off to a great start as Curtis is stranded at sea in a sinking boat and gets picked up by captain Bronson but before he can get on the two have a nice exchange of words. The first twenty-minutes of the movie are fast, sharp and contain some very funny moments but all of this stuff pretty much goes away once the center story kicks in. I never really could get too involved with the story in Turkey simply because it really didn't feel all that real and I also thought it was rather poorly written. I think there's way too much story trying to go on and there's really nothing behind it because the main goal is just to get to the next action scene. As far as the action goes, we get a couple excellent sequences. The opening bar fight is pretty good but the real highlight comes towards the middle of the film when the train carrying the gold comes under attack. After viewing the movie I had to do a Google search to see how many stuntmen got killed in this sequence but apparently it was none. The physical stunts are extremely graphic and there are a few scenes where horses are tripping off one another and there's one instant that will really stick out because it seems the human riding it gets crushed during all the mayhem. There's another big action piece at the end, which results in another twist in the story that actually works pretty good. The main draw of this movie is going to be seeing Curtis and Bronson together and they actually do a pretty good job. I thought that laid back, smart ass attitude of Curtis worked perfectly well with Bronson stone cold approach. The two are simply so different that when they mix it up they just come off very funny. The banter between the men in the bar at the start of the film is certainly one of the highlights. YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is far from a masterpiece and in reality it's not even a good movie. With that said, fans of the two stars will probably want to check it out but others will probably not find too much to keep them watching from start to finish.

Another reviewer has called this "better than it had to be", which I think is right on the money. This is not a history lesson, nor is Shakespeare, but it uses an obscure period of history to tell an adventure story without insulting anyone's intelligence.

It is a remake of "Vera Cruz", the 1952 Western with Gary Cooper and Burt Lancaster. Except Curtis' character is much wittier than Cooper's, and Bronson's character is not a psychopath. Both changes make it easier to watch, although not as dramatic. Both movies have anachronisms, but I think many of the anachronisms in "You can't Win 'em All" are sardonically recognized.

There are easy parallels between the chaos of 1867 Mexico and 1922 Turkey. In both there were uncertain loyalties at the end of an Imperial rule and a major conflict had ended nearby, leaving a pool of unemployed killers. In both a nationalistic regime replaced the Old Order, and neither Juarez nor Attaturk were choirboys. But the movie is neither history lesson nor moral polemic, just a cheerful adventure story.

You Can't Win Them All was directed by Peter Collinson who made the landmark British heist thriller, The Italian Job.

Here Charles Bronson (Josh Corey) and Tony Curtis (Adam Dyer) play two soldiers of fortune who get together after Bronson finds Curtis stranded in the sea and soon constantly try to double cross each other as they see themselves as rivals.

The film is set in 1922 Turkey as the country is undergoing revolution internally and war with its neighbours and the two protagonists see this as an opportunity to make money. They join together and get hired by a local governor for a mission to transport his three daughters and some gold which leads to lots of devious shenanigans along the way.

Bronson and Curtis make a likable pair and work well together. Curtis is positive, amiable and a joker whereas Bronson is meaner, more calculating and colder.

There is some gorgeous Turkish location photography but the film is too stop and start and never truly gets going or engages. There is too much bickering and mutual distrust between Curtis and Bronson which stalls the film at the beginning and then only much later on we get the action sequences which are very well staged but feels like too little or two late

Some of the dialogue is jarring and the politics of the region is not easy to understand but it's an interesting misfire.

YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is an unusual American adventure film with a European feel. The story is heavily indebted to the usual spaghetti westerns made during the era, with a couple of ne'er-do-well characters getting caught up in a good cause and gradually realising that more is at stake than making money. This time around, the characters have to guard a gold shipment from various renegade factions, leading to plenty of stock action scenes and gung-ho adventure staples.

The film wins plaudits for casting a couple of decent actors as the leads; there's Charles Bronson, acting all tough and stoic as usual, while Tony Curtis in contrast brings plenty of laid-back charm to his character role. The supporting cast is largely made up of ethnic Turks, although eagle-eyed viewers may spot CAPTAIN KRONOS himself, Horst Janson, in a minor role. YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is a relatively fast paced and action-packed adventure film, but I felt oddly unconnected to it throughout, like I didn't really give two hoots about what was going on; it's not one I enjoyed.

This is a competent adventure movie pairing, of all people, Tony Curtis and Charles Bronson. It's setting is an obscure one for Americans: Turkey in its days of revolutionary war following the defeat and collapse of the Ottoman Dynasty in World War I. Bronson and his band of mercs have tommy guns but don't get to use them as much as you might expect. On no best-of list, but this movie is a bit better than it had to be, and worth a look.