The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

It seems funny that for all the well-deserved plaudits this grade-Z gem attracts, nobody mentioned the great performance by the actor playing Danny's father, Larry Vincent! That's right, none other than "Sinister Seymour" himself doing the honors as good old Andrew Norton, the doc's faithful gardener in one of his too-few appearances on the big screen. All I can say is, if you were too young to remember the early 70's, you definitely missed one the best things about watching late-night TV in Los Angeles. Long before MST3K or Elvira, Seymour's "Fright Night" on Saturday nights was THE thing to watch. Nowadays, if I see "-Transplant-" in the local listings, I turn it on in the first fifteen minutes (before the killer gives him a messy send-off with a garden hoe) just to watch his rare talent. Ah, Larry, you left us too soon...

Call me demented but I loved this absolutely silly piece of 1970s Drive-In schlock! Director Anthony M. Lanza only made one other movie as far as I know, one I've been wanting to see for years, a 60s biker flick starring Dennis Hopper and Casey Kasem called 'The Glory Stompers'. Kasem returns in this one to play the concerned best friend of "mad" scientist Dr. Roger Girard played by cult favourite Bruce Dern (Kasem and Dern had previously played brothers in another 60s biker movie 'The Cycle Savages', a trash classic I highly recommend.) Dern, just like those scientists in 'Donovan's Brain', has his own lab in his home which he conducts his own private research, assisted by his crippled mentor Dr. Max ('Demon Seed'). Research, by the way, involving head transplants. So when a psychopath (Albert Cole) escapes on a rampage and kidnaps Dern's pretty blonde wife (Pat Priest of 'The Munsters'), it doesn't take long to figure out that the Doc is going to be operating on him soon. Especially when there is a handy mental defective (John Bloom, from 'The Hills Have Eyes 2') available (his caretaker's son). Now Bruce Dern is one of my favourite 1970s actors ('Bloody Mama', 'Silent Running', 'The King Of Marvin Gardens'), and I'd watch him in just about anything, but this must be the stupidest movie he has ever been involved in! Disinterested viewers who don't enjoy 60s and 70s exploitation and monster movies may find it just TOO stupid to get into, but I thought it was an absolute hoot, and loved every minute of it!

Casey Kasem, Marilyn Munster, Bruce Dern, and Seymour in a campy horror cheapsterpiece that is good for some laughs.

Bruce Dern is a mad doctor/scientist, and of course, nobody has ever seen a mad scientist in a movie before. He concocts a plan to take a dead head off one guy, and surgically attach it to another guy. Neither he nor you will ever know why he wants to do this, but it provides the backbone for this juicy camp novelty, that looks to have been made on a budget of about ten bucks, and two S&H green stamps. Casey Kasem was not doing a top 40 show or Scooby Doo cartoon that week, so he drops by. He's a colleague of Dern, but not nuts like Dr. Dern is. I love the scenes where our hero, Dr. Kasem, turns on the radio, to listen to his own voice doing the radio news announcer. Pat (Marilyn Munster) Priest is the blonde bombshell romantic interest (of more than one character, if you catch my drift). And of course, the two-headed transplant: both actors combine to actually give this awkward looking beast some real emotion.

They're all good, in a campy way, but a special treat this movie had was a popular local late night horror host seen here in L.A. in those days, named Larry "Seymour, the Master of the Macabre" Vincent. He used to offer up golden turkey monster flicks, in order to poke fun at their awfulness, MST3K style. He roasted himself for doing "Transplant," although his all-to-brief screen before making a routine horror film exit, was actually pretty good acting. Sadly, Seymour died fairly young, leaving this as one of his few film appearances.

The idea is goofy, but the script has enough going on that the actors can work with it. They all seem to have had fun making the flick, too. Considering the z-budget, it's not bad at all. This can actually be entertaining if you go in expecting dumb but amusing camp.

This is a great party movie. My friends and I have watched it together at least four times since we were teenagers. There are so many laughable moments that I could list, but here are just a few favorites:

Casey Casem is a main character (a doctor), but also provides the voice of every news announcement heard on radios in the film! (Did they think we wouldn't notice?)

Bruce Dern saying "Johnny, this is an axe. It is used for chopping wood, and NOTHING ELSE."

Dern again, upon completing an autopsy of a lab monkey: "You know, if this little guy had been healthy, he'd still be alive!"

The totally gratuitous "lady getting out of the bathtub" scene.

The soundtrack is consistently inappropriate for the action on screen. I particularly love the opening titles -- a drippy love song comes directly after a maniac's menacing laughter.

Stilted acting, poorly written dialog, cheesy 70's clothes, a ridiculous premise, and totally unconvincing makeup effects make this one of the best scoff-able titles out there (even beating "Gymkata")! Recommended for your next scoff-fest!

A maniacal killer's head is fused to the lumbering, gargantuan body of a man with the mind of a small child by a scientist who just happens to specialize in fusing two-headed creatures in his spare time. Why? He says to show everyone what a genius he is. Why on Earth would anyone want to create a monster with two heads - neither containing the brain of anything remotely resembling worthiness? Such is the premise in this bizarre, fascinating, and God awful film made in 1971. Bruce Dern plays the "mad" scientist with decided disinterest. Can you blame him? He strolls around with drink in hand and never shows any real depth of character. By the film's end, his performance just caves in. The two-headed monstrosity, which battles bikers on bikes wielding chains and has a cumulative IQ of 60, is a true sight of ineptitude to behold. John Bloom, who would later get an even worse role as Frankenstein's Monster in Al Adamson's horrendous opus Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, plays Danny - a hulking man that lost his mind when he was left for dead in a mine shaft years ago. Now an adult, Danny is dutiful to his father, is treated like a mental defective by all concerned, and sweats a lot. The head of Albert Cole, a man who we see leering or laughing with crazy glee, is attached when Cole tries to rape Dern's wife(more on her in a minute) and kills Danny's father. Dern and his limp-wristed former surgeon assistant(Barry Kroeger) feel the time is right to make a two-headed freak with the body of Cole at their disposal and the mentally deficient Danny just there. This movie is a real hoot to sit through as every minute in bad - bad but fun. The story stinks. Director Anthony Lanza has little savvy. The production values virtually non-existent(although the head thing looks better here then some of the other two--headed monsters of the same era). Acting? What acting? C'mon - Casey Kasem as a doctor/hero? Dern looks like he lost a bet and had to be in the picture. Cole is annoyingly disgusting and ridiculous. Bloom is okay at best. But I really liked Pat Priest as Dern's wife. She sure didn't give a great performance, but she made a believer out of me as she fainted(several times), ran from crazy Cole, lounged in a chair by the pool, laid in bed either of her own accord or bound and gagged, and finally was tied and put in a cage in the lab - all in either a bikini, a small nightie, or some other light attire that showcased her attributes, the brightest things about this dreadful dreck. This movie is very, very bad, and I must confess I loved every minute of it. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Just hearing that soundtrack where every beat foreshadows something suspenseful will happen and rarely does. Or how about the dialog used in the picture? Whew! This is one of the all-time great of le bad cinema.