- Albin Mougeotte: He's being taken from us, and we won't have any others.
- Renato Baldi: Unless there's a miracle.
- Simon Charrier: Your son, Mr. Baldi, how many mothers has he got?
- Renato Baldi: Would you repeat the question, please?
- Simon Charrier: I'm asking you how many mothers your son has got.
- Renato Baldi: Try to walk like John Wayne.
- Albin Mougeotte: The cowboy?
- Renato Baldi: Yes. John Wayne gets down from the horse. He goes toward the saloon. He opens the doors and zap! Try it.
- Albin Mougeotte: I have to be John Wayne?
- Renato Baldi: Yes.
- Albin Mougeotte: Here I go.
- [Albin walks]
- Renato Baldi: That's John Wayne's daughter!
- Petunia: Can I see you for a second Renato?
- Renato Baldi: No, it's late and I have to see somebody, see, you all need to leave me alone!
- Petunia: [Crying]
- Renato Baldi: What is it? What is it? Petunia, what now?
- Petunia: I'm expecting.
- Renato Baldi: I'm sorry?
- Petunia: I'm expecting!
- Renato Baldi: You got your wife pregnant again?
- Petunia: Yes.
- Renato Baldi: But it's the seventh!
- Petunia: Yes!
- Renato Baldi: Everything's fine. I raise a boy for 20 years - my son. Then a girl comes and steals him. A whore. A whore. Yes, a whore.
- Laurent Baldi: Dad.
- Renato Baldi: Sorry.
- Renato Baldi: [Stands up] Listen to me carefully, son. If you marry this girl, you're not coming back here. I'm not giving you money anymore, and I'll never see you again. Your choice.
- Laurent Baldi: [Comes closer and offers his hand] Goodbye Dad.
- Renato Baldi: [Taken aback, starts to shake hand, then changes his mind] Huh, come here you little idiot! There, let's celebrate this disaster!
- Louise Charrier: What's wrong, Simon?
- Simon Charrier: President Bertier is dead.
- Louise Charrier: The President? Oh, my God!
- Simon Charrier: In a woman's arms! A prostitute.
- Louise Charrier: In the arms of a...?
- Simon Charrier: A minor, no less.
- Louise Charrier: No!
- Simon Charrier: A minor. And black!
- Louise Charrier: Sorry?
- Simon Charrier: A prostitute, a minor and colored. This is the end of my career. Oh, la. My career's ruined.
- Louise Charrier: Don't say that, Simon. You aren't responsible. Listen to me. You're not responsible for the President's private life!
- Simon Charrier: Louise, I'm the General Secretary of a party called "Union for Moral Order." Our President just died in the arms of a prostitute. Great meat for the press. I could use a little piece of chocolate.
- Albin Mougeotte: [talking to the doctor] So, you boil down the sauce in the copper frying pan, be careful to take a copper frying pan, I always say to my friends you take a copper frying pan, or else.
- Renato Baldi: So, do you die or do you cook?
- Albin Mougeotte: [Realising what Renato just told him] You... you're not serious?
- Renato Baldi: Some girl he met at the University. Had to happen one day.
- Albin Mougeotte: With a girl? How awful! Poor little thing, that's not possible, he's... too young. He's gonna ruin his life.
- Renato Baldi: I told him, of course I did, to no avail. He thinks he's gonna be happy, and maybe he will. There's nothing we can do.
- Albin Mougeotte: You know, at first it hurts. I wasn't expecting this and it's hard. I was fine and now suddenly I... just a squeaky stomach I guess, this will pass... That girl, what a bitch!
- Laurent Baldi: [Entering the room and smiling] I guess you just told him!
- Jacob: Don't go away! Don't leave us!
- Albin Mougeotte: Don't cry, Jacob.
- Renato Baldi: What is this? "Uncle Tom's Cabin?"
- Mercedes: I can't depend on Madam's moods. She only cares about being in bed with you.
- Renato Baldi: How dare you! As of tomorrow you dress like a man!
- Mercedes: No, no, no. Not like a man! Forgive me!
- Renato Baldi: What is said is said, Henry.
- Mercedes: Henry?
- Renato Baldi: Yes, Henry.
- Renato Baldi: Jacob! I told you not to prance about the house naked.
- Jacob: You don't like it?
- Renato Baldi: No!
- Jacob: Why don't you let me dance? Look at me. What do others have that I don't?
- Renato Baldi: You have something more, even if it's of no use to you.
- Simon Charrier: I had to use a ladder.
- Louise Charrier: It's dangerous. You could have fallen.
- Simon Charrier: I did fall.
- Renato Baldi: This coffee really stinks. You French make shitty coffee.
- Jacob: I've been called black, I've been called queer, but French, never!
- Simone Deblon: How handsome you were! I'd never seen such a body.
- Renato Baldi: Now, don't embarrass me.
- Simone Deblon: Remember how afraid you were?
- Renato Baldi: I almost had a heart attack. I walk in the room and find a woman in my bed!
- Simone Deblon: I got in by giving the doorman a tip. 50 franc in those days.
- Renato Baldi: I was completely drunk. And when I saw you in bed nude, I said to myself, "Let's try it." You have to try everything in life, right? So much had been said about it - that I gave in.
- Simone Deblon: How long did the two of us last?
- Renato Baldi: I can tell you exactly. From 2:30 to 3:45. Two times.
- Renato Baldi: Concentrate on your character - the psychological interpretation. You're a handsome foreigner strolling down Broadway - with a manly gait. Suddenly, you're in front of this beautiful woman. You look at each other - fascinated. You send forth a sexual call - with the pelvis. Like this.
- Simone Deblon: [putting her hand down Renato's shirt] What's all this hair? You didn't have any when I met you.
- Renato Baldi: I shaved it for the stage.
- Simone Deblon: He shaved it so I never got to enjoy it.
- Renato Baldi: Careful, Simone. Careful.
- Albin Mougeotte: I've been dying to meet the father of that naughty girl - who's stealing my baby. The naughty thing!
- Simon Charrier: I can always tell right away who I'm dealing with. I'm pleased to say, I feel good with a man like you.
- Renato Baldi: Thank you.
- Louise Charrier: You've seduced my husband, Mr. Baldi. I rarely hear him give so many compliments.