Piraña

Piranha is a film more self-aware than most of the post-Scream crap to come out of Hollywood. The film knows it follows a formula. In an early scene, we meet the protagonist Maggie playing a Jaws arcade game -- acknowledging the film it shamelessly rips off. It knows it packs a clichés punch with its characters as well as showing off that trademark Roger Corman cost-saving devices. It knows it carries an obligatory anti-war message as a product of the 1970s. And Piranha brings with it an appropriate sense of humor towards its material.

So watching the film, I found myself despising the formula it follows; however, I couldn't help but appreciate how the film never takes itself too seriously. Good thing too, because the other protagonist, Paul, represents one of my greatest character pet peeves -- the self-serving social reject SoB who gets talked into tagging along who eventually evolves into something sympathetic. I can barely stomach that character type in this goofy ride, I don't think I could endure another character like that in a straight movie. Thank you Joe Dante.

Most films will toss out a painfully contrived excuse to get the adventurous Maggie and the hermit-wanna-be Paul to run through the plot together even though no amount of logic or reason could possibly yield that result, but not Piranha. Oh no. It doesn't even bother with an excuse, it just defies logic and common sense to put the two together and doesn't ask questions. Thank you John Sayles.

Of course, I still hated Paul, but that's okay. With any luck he'll wind up Piranha bait.

Keenan Wynn plays a colorful old man who lives out in the same neck of the woods as the Paul character, and he confirms the viewer's suspicion that Piranha opts for less realistic characters in favor of silly caricatures. This prepares the viewer for the big balding camp activities administrator, Earl, who encourages little kids to overcome their fears by essentially calling them sissies for having said fears. Also the evil Colonel Waxman who is evil solely because he represents the US Government around the same era in history as the Vietnam War. And let's not forget the cocky highway patrol trooper who informs the main characters, "Don't try nothing 'cause I got my gun right here in my left hand." What I find most amusing about Piranha is the fact that the "good guys" (Maggie and Paul) are the two characters most deserving of a crucifixion over the events in the film. These characters waltz into an abandoned Government test facility and start pushing buttons without asking any questions, or even attempting to go through the right channels, or find out anything about this once top-secret and highly classified test facility. They metaphorically walk into a antique shop blindfolded while swinging a baseball bat, and it's the store owner's fault for leaving stuff out. But they said they're "reawwy, reawwy, sowwy, and it'll nevah happen again." Is it any wonder that no one believes their word about the river that bypasses the dam? I mean, most sane people hesitate to take directions from a guy who just ran full speed face first into a brick a wall.

Piranha's story, in essence, describes two characters who screw up, and spend the rest of the film trying to fix it while the narratives desperately tries to lay blame on its villain of the day. In a straight horror flick, this would no doubt irritate me; however, in this caricature jamboree of clichés … it feels right. Especially with Dick Miller playing the "corrupt" businessman and owner of the aquatic park, and Barbara Steele playing a scientist associated with the project that generated the killer piranha -- both characters in league with the evil Colonel Waxman, thus villains by default. And, honestly, you can't go wrong with Keenan Wynn, Dick Miller, and Barbara Steele in a film like this.

What about the stars of this film? The piranha's themselves? There's a certain charm to the hyperactive fish going into epileptic convulsions while their teeth shred away at human flesh and, of course, the foggy silhouettes that stiffly pass by the camera like glorified cardboard cutouts. In other words: fun low budget creature effects whose flaws only enhance the viewing experience.

Unfortunately, the mayhem the Piranhas cause generally falls short to the point of, dare I say, boredom. The fish begin to bite, and the scene degenerates into a mass of extras kicking, screaming, splashing, intercut with convulsing piranhas feasting. The chaos in frame drags on with no arc, no climaxes, barely any visible progress. At best, every now and again, Joe Dante offers hints of a mass exodus from the water at such a casual pace that it's difficult to believe these people's lives are at stake.

Having said that, I must confess that I respect and appreciate one of the climaxes where Joe Dante not only places a child's summer camp in danger, but also follows through by having the piranha actually attack the kids. An apparent Hollywood taboo despite the fact we're talking fiction -- where's the suspense of children in danger when the viewer knows a mainstream studio won't dare go there? Sad that this parody has more balls than some of its serious horror film brethren.

That self-awareness and sense of humor separates Piranha from the pack, and saves it from the same bashing that other creature features would receive. However, it does not grant Piranha total immunity. While littered with flaws, Piranha is not afraid to acknowledge what it is, it's not afraid to go against Hollywood taboos, and it's not afraid to mock itself. And hey, you get a dose of Roger Corman, Joe Dante, Mark Goldblatt, Dick Miller, Keenan Wynn, and Barbara Steele all in the same package. If that's not worth the price of a rental, some popcorn, and a few laughs, I dunno what is.

The ultimate underwater horror movie. Well at first Piranha does seem to live up to other horror films but it does have various goofy and campy moments. The beginning is quite fine whilst the film does show a bit of nudity. However, during the middle of the film viewers will be on the edge of their seats, wanting to find out how these small killer fish might cause relentless horror and unspeakable doom. Given its popularity and its mediocre writing I'd rather be not wanting to watch its sequels rather than only watching this movie. In the end, while the movie may be an edge of your seat roller coaster ride, it may also have its ups and its downs.

RELEASED IN 1978 and directed by Joe Dante, "Piranha" chronicles events when genetically-enhanced piranha are accidently released into a river system in central Texas, which threaten kids & counselors at a Summer Camp and vacationers at a lake resort. A spirited skip tracer (Heather Menzies) and a backwoods drunkard (Bradford Dillman) team-up to save the swimmers. Kevin McCarthy and Barbara Steele play military scientists who experimented with the escaped piranha.

While "Piranha" is sort of a "Jaws" (1975) knockoff, it's different enough to not be a rip-off: The story takes place in a river system deep in the mainland and not the ocean; the 'monster' consists of teams of little vicious fish rather than a huge Great White Shark; the beach sequences involve quaint campground-like beaches rather than major ocean beaches; unlike "Jaws," there's a focus on alluring young women, although "Jaws 2" (1978) delivered the goods in this area as well; there's more of a sense of adventure and even suspense; and the tone mixes-in amusing elements with the horrific mayhem.

As inferred, the picture is highlighted by several quality females with curvy Belinda Balaski (from "The Howling") and cutie Melody Thomas Scott (from The Young and the Restless) featured in prominent roles. Moreover, voluptuous Janie Squire has some worthy screen time in the prologue. There are superb women in the periphery as well. Interestingly, the 2010 quasi-remake, "Piranha 3D," took the sleaze route with loads of nudity, but the women are ironically hotter here, not to mention the film's all-around more entertaining.

THE MOVIE IS LEAN and filler-free at 93 minutes and was shot along a river near San Marcos in the heart of Texas, Northeast of San Antonio. WRITERS: John Sayles and Richard Robinson.

GRADE: A-

Scientists developed a variety of piranha which can live in fresh and salt water. Then the government project closed down, and they poisoned the water. But the fish survived, and eat Keenan Wynn.

It's a dumb-sounding idea for a film, one of the many movies that came out after the success of JAWS. Surprisingly, it's a funny spoof of the movie, from the posters based on the mega-hit's poster, to director Joe Dante having two-legged reptiles running around, to a silly pastiche of the beach scene. Writer John Sayles was so disgusted that he thought about giving up on film, returning to novels Instead, he took his earnings and made RETURN OF THE SECAUCUS SEVEN, and Steven Spielberg thought it was so funny, you talked Universal out of a lawsuit and hired Dante.

This was a peculiar rip-off to classic ¨Jaws¨ by Steven Spielberg; Piranha (1978) got much success as well, directed by Joe Dante and stars Bradford Dillman ,Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele . Concerning an insurance investigator called Maggie (Heather Menzies) and her local guide, Paul (Bradford Dillman), search the Lost River Lake area to find two missing teenagers. When stumbling upon an abandoned army camp run by mad doctor Robert Hoak (Kevin McCarthy) who has been developing a mutant strain of fish, they then release by accident in the river some flesh-eating piranhas that were bred to use in the Vietnam war. The piranhas are heading straight to a nearby summer resort's lake and its guests just in time for spring break. As the piranhas attack and local police and our protagonists must work together to stop them. Piranhas make their way downstream to various swimming holes and resorts and in their own way wreaking havoc. There's Something in the Water. Don't Scream...Just Swim!. One perfect killer !. This summer, how fast can you swim? A hideous death lurked unseen in the river..!. They came downriver in their thousands. Their teeth could strip a living man to the bone in seconds. They're Here...And They're Hungry. Lost River Lake was a thriving resort - until they discovered...They're here...Hungry for flesh! Who can stop them?. Something you can't see...something you can't feel...until it's too late!. Then... you were shocked by the great white shark - Now... you are at the mercy of 1000 jaws!

Spoofy terror movie features the now-obligatory Dante film in-jokes in the background. It's a passable film with a creepy creation of tension, thrills, underwater terror, exploitation and lots of blood and gore , but being paced in tongue-in-cheek, B-style. The plot is well-known: an accident frees thousands of vicious piranhas from an abandoned military facility, causing bloody events with lots of gory scenes. The man-eating piranhas are released after a sudden accident and set free into a summer resort; they are delivering the goods as the guests become their next meal. John Sayles' witty script plays the action for laughs rather than chills, stealing wholesale from the plot of 'Jaws', while filmmaker Dante piles on the cinematic in-jokes and cheap FX. In fact , the piranha attacks images deliver emotion and tension united to a thrilling score by Pino Donaggio who heightens the suspense. And a breathtaking final attack on the 'Lost River Lake' causing loathing and extremely bloody massacre that took time to shot ; however, no cuts were demanded by the MPAA in spite of extreme bloodletting and gruesome frames. There are lots of scary and horrifying set pieces with plenty of gore, blood, amputation, removal of limbs that were professionally made by special makeup effects supervisors. Appearing here and there various familar faces giving sympathetic acting, such as: Keenan Wynn, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele, Belinda Balaski, Melody Thomas, Barry Brown, Paul Bartel and Richard Deacon.

Followed by ¨Piranha II: the spawning¨ (1982) by James Cameron with Tricia O'Neal, Lance Henriksen, Steve Marachuk; an early Cameron exercice in gore tech that's a step down from original. Many years later, ¨Piranha 3D¨ (2010) by Alexandre Aja with Steven R. McQueen , Jerry O'Connell , Jessica Szohr , Kelly Brook , Riley Steele; producers and director pay tribute to Jaws (1975) and Piranha (1978) with various cinematic remarks , including a poster in the style of Jaws (1975) film franchise, with the monster at the bottom of the sea , and the potential victim on the surface high above sea. And ¨Piranha 3DD¨ (2012) by John Gulager with Danielle Panbaker , Matt Bush, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd , Gary Busey , Clu Gulager and special mention for David Hassellhoff.