El Expresso del Diablo

The Devil's Express is part blaxploitation, part horror, and part martial arts flick, but the film fails to do any of those genres justice, with an unlikeable protagonist, tepid frights, and some of the worst punching and kicking imaginable.

The wonderfully named Warhawk Tanzania plays Luke, a black New York martial arts master who, accompanied by his drug-dealing student Rodan (Wilfredo Roldan), travels to China to complete his training. When Rodan finds an ancient amulet in a cave, he takes the trinket, and, in doing so, unleashes a bloodthirsty demon that follows him back to the Big Apple.

When mutilated bodies begin to show up in the city's subway, the police believe it to be the result of a gang war between the blacks and the Chinese, but when Rodan joins the list of victims, Luke investigates and learns of the supernatural creature lurking in the dark and heads underground to settle the score.

Technically inept (several scenes feature characters talking but we can hear no dialogue), poorly written (horrible jive street-talk is taken to the max) and dreadfully directed (the fight scenes are laughable), The Devil's Express is, without a doubt, a terrible film, but is still just about worth a watch to witness a possessed man with eyes like Kermit the frog, a Chinese man with an afro (a chifro?), and Luke's show-stopping gold velvet onepiece playsuit, complete with flares and button down shoulder straps.