I Was a Mail Order Bride

Two attractive, single twenty-somethings, each with a hidden agenda, thrust together under the guise of potentially finding a mate.

The year was '82, Valerie Bertinelli was a hot commodity, and the tv gurus were eager to cash in. There's no denying she was adorable and personable, and worthy of lead roles.

That being said, this vehicle quickly skidded off the rails. The feeble writing and wince-inducing attempts at humor - and heart-felt moments - never gave it much of a chance. Add to it that Ted Wass was totally wrong for the 'romantic' role opposite Valerie. He came across as an aloof, arrogant and clueless twit, resulting in zero chemistry between the two. And I do mean zero. Nada. Nothing here will convince you that these two would fall for each other. And yet, onward we trod.

Bless her heart, Valerie tries to make the mess she's forced to deal with work. But nothing here makes a bit of sense, or is capable of holding a thinking person's interest for very long. And I'm wondering if Wass was just contractually obligated to play this role, because he couldnt have possibly come across as less interested.

This gets 3/10 only because Valerie did what she could with what she was given to work with. But the further it went, the messier it became. I guess the joke was on me for enduring this one to the very end.