Oh cool! A movie about mutated killer crabs! You don't encounter too many of those; especially in comparison with movies about spiders or rats or whatever. Like in most contemporary creature-features, the thematic animal species looks a lot more menacing in the stock footage (that the film probably stole from the National Geographic archives) than in the special effects version. It seems to take ages before anything significant happens and, in spite of a lot of crawling crab footage, it takes a while before you realize they're slowing heading towards town and plotting an attack against the community. First, though, you'll have to struggle through a god-awful and unnecessary "forbidden romance" sub plot and plenty of padding footage of a hillbilly dance festival. "Island Claws" is a boring film with practically no action, uninspired writing and zero attempts to insert any humor or cheesy atmosphere. The concept of genetically manipulated crabs running amok on an island holds a lot of potential, but the script (from the same people who made cult favorite "The Amazing Mr. No Legs") unfortunately doesn't even use up 5% of that potential. There are plentiful of weird sequences that are completely irrelevant to the plot, like the heart-breaking story of a family of Haitian immigrants stranding on the island and a totally random supportive character declining a wedding proposal. The few scenes that are relevant to the plot, however, are stupid and ridiculous. The body count is intolerably low for an 80's flick and the few deaths that are on display are tame and gore-free. Two little moments to illustrate just how stupid "Island Claws" is: 1) none of the crabs actually do any killing and 2) the island community is more shocked and upset regarding the death of a poodle, but nobody mourned for the town's banjo musician. Eventually a gigantic crustacean (thank you, Wikipedia) does show up, but it comes far too late to boost up the entertainment value.
