Black Roses

Black Roses. Where to begin? First off, this movie is not for you if you cannot appreciate the comic genius that is a combination of bad metal music and massive mullets. Personally, I love bad movies and those two things have made [and broken] a great many movies for me. Black Roses is a beautiful melding of horrible acting, special effects that wouldn't have been impressive twenty years ago, and tons of terrible metal. Our Demonic band and their flamboyant frontman Damien [who is complete with a disappearing/reappearing mullet] use their music as a portal for evil! There are a great many unanswered questions come the end of the film, but if you are watching this film in the first place, chances are you're not in the market for a high-quality production. This is a great bad horror film, and a must-see for anyone who knows how funny mullets are.

7/10

[A few words on my rating system]

I review bad movies almost exclusively, that does not however mean that my rating system is inverted. A score of 1 denotes a film that is unbearable to watch, whereas a score of 10 epitomizes the best in the world of bad movies. A 5 is average, 6 connotes that there is something worthwhile, a 7 is a definate must-see for people who match the criteria that I will have listed in the review.

Watch out kids! The heavy metal is gonna getcha! Popular metal band Black Roses have chosen the small town of Mill Basin to begin their world tour. But Black Roses has plans outside of just rocking. Led by the charismatic Damien, the band are actually demons who hypnotize teens with their music and then turn them anti-social. It is Tipper Gore's worst nightmare! It is all up to English teacher Mr. Moorhouse (John Martin) to save the town. From the director of ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE, BLACK ROSES is a great 80s time capsule. You have the big hair with sweaters to match, the leather outfits and lots of high pitch screeching. There are some cheap but fun effects and what might be the world's most gratuitous nude scene. Pre-SOPRANOS Vincent Pastore made his film debut (talk about auspicious!) as a metal kid's dad who gets sucked into a mutant speaker by a big spider. Sorry, it reads much better than it plays.

i swear I say this flick for rent in a 7-11 when I was still a pre-teen.

I've had a vague recollection of the box art and the general plot ever since. Being the dedicated bargin bin hound that I am, I finally managed to find a copy of this movie. I'm a giant fan of B-movies in general, but this film just didn't seem to make effective use of the wacky plot. It could have been a lot more over the top; it ended up being pretty slow going during some sections. The F/X are actually halfway between funny/cheesey and somewhat half decent. Although I enjoyed this movie for all of its b-graded goodness (i.e. bad music, bad acting, some T&A from the leading female), i reccomend it to serious fans of the b-horror genre. If you ever get a chance to pick it up used for a few bucks, it's good for a laugh. However, Rock N' Roll Nightmare, by the same director, is an absolute MUST HAVE.

This film is campy, scary, and totally weird at the same time. I swear every horror fan must at least look at this film first, before making comments about it. The acting is average, the writing is average (i.e. one girl looks into a mirror and rubs her breasts for ten minutes (?)) But this film has a chilling reality to it that was probably appreciated more back when it was released in 1988. Teens killing their parents because they're possessed by the demons playing the rock music? Now that's got to be good!

Of note: Vincent Pastore ("The Sopranos" Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero) in his first film saying one of the funniest damn quotes: "You wearing earings, kid? Only two kinda guys wear earings: pirates and homos. And I don't see a ship in the driveway!"

***out of****truly a memorably 80's horror film that went far beyond 80's slasher films that were everywhere at the time.

So there is a renegade high schooler named Johnny. He is 30 years old, with a mullet and a jean jacket. He hates his teachers and loves metal music. His favorite metal band has a lead singer who turns into a monster while performing cursed songs. There's some great-yet-bad metal music, especially the tune at the beginning. The score is very forgettable 80s synth noodling, unfortunately. It's an alright movie to look at, the acting is passable if you grade on a curve, and the monster effects are pretty decent all considered. This movie kinda has it all if you're into bad 80's monster movies: boobs, a messy script, rockin' tunes, cheesy dialog, and an awful main character you love to make fun of. Big Pussy from the Sopranos makes his acting debut, and it's freakin' hilarious. Lots of mentions of the "satanic panic" of the 80s where the media cast overprotective mothers and pitted them against heavy metal and rap music that had explicit lyrics. The theme of the movie seems to stem from that whole incident

This one was lots of fun to watch, with a great soundtrack and story-line, plus the right amount of cheese, it makes 90min fly by. 3.5 / 5