Goddess of Love

I remember seeing this (twice!) on TV as a kid and totally loving the novelty of Vanna from Wheel playing Venus. (I was a pretty stupid kid) This is 80's bad TV-movie gold. Every inch filmed in the Dynasty/Aaron Spelling era California of the 80s. Even the soundtrack is total 80s sitcom synth. Rips totally from movies like Mannequin, Earth Girls Are Easy and Date With An Angel, and precursors the camp of Xena and Hercules. (Callisto bears a striking resemblance to Vanna, doesn't she?) And Vanna actually made me laugh when she masquerades as "Vera" the Southern-fried cousin. She actually hit a few comic notes there.

Silly and fluffy, but fun enough to include on your bad 80's movie night.

I remember this movie and how much it stunk. Vanna White's acting is really bad. She is better off turning letters.

Some have mentioned the Mannequin movies series.

But I saw a movie the other day titled " One Touch of Venus" with Ava Gardner Here is the summary of that movie A window dresser in a department store feels a strange attraction to a mannequin in the display. One night he impulsively kisses her; she comes to life and reveals herself to be Venus, the goddess of love.

With Vannas version you are not missing much.

Basically this is a dog

GODDESS OF LOVE opens with synthesizer music that could only have come from the 1980's. Taken to Mount Olympus, we are there as Zeus (John Ryes-Davies) turns his daughter, Venus (Vanna White) into a statue. She's no longer allowed on the mountain until a human male falls in love with her... and survives.

Enter Ted Beckman (David Naughton), who is busy getting ready to marry his fiancee. Through mishap and happenstance, Ted winds up reinvigorating Venus, who has somehow wound up in a museum. Unfortunately, the way in which this occurs makes Ted the object of her divine desire! Complicating matters, Ted's fiancee is back in town.

Preposterous and impossibly corny, this is fairly typical made-for-TV fluff of the period. Ms. White is indeed beautiful, and her role isn't bad.

Harmless, enjoyable viewing...

Truly when it comes to film, the marriage of the words "TV" and "Movie" are a match rarely to be made in Heaven. While the occasional historical work or a Dennis Potter play may arouse interest, in 99% of cases the television movie attracts the sort of disdain normally reserved for the close proximity of the word "Police" with "Academy".

Goddess of Love is no different. To be honest, I only looked in on this one to see Little Richard as the camp cameo Alphonso. What unravels is a story where a hairdresser, Ted (David Naughton) has to choose between his fiancé, Cathy (Amanda Bearse, the neighbour from Married... With Children) and the goddess of love herself, Venus. Of course, it doesn't help matters that Venus is woefully wooden in the hands of Vanna White, or that Ted's best friend Jimmy is also lacking in the tv actordom of David Leisure. Yet there's something endearingly awful about this film. It knows it's a worthless piece of junk made on a budget of 5 cents to fill an afternoon's schedule. There's a real sense of earnest desperation as everyone involved knows what a low-grade movie they're involved in, and are determined to overact in order to be noticed.

Astonishingly, Leisure was noticed, and went on to appear in many films, including 10 Things I Hate About You, Dogmatic and The Brady Bunch Movie. The best performance comes from Philip Baker Hall as Detective Charles. Much too good for this sort of thing, Hall has appeared in 60 films to date, including high-profiles excursions like Midnight Run, Boogie Nights, The Truman Show and Enemy of the State. The decision to cast non-actors in roles is brave, in fairness. White was, I understand, a co-host on the American version of "Wheel of Fortune". Though while she does okay-ish for a quiz host, Little Richard shames 90% of the "actors" here with a great turn as Alphonso. In fact, you can't help but feel if he'd had a bigger role the movie might have been more watchable. His effeminate tone and utterly unique phrasing of words virtually steals the show. Mind you, if he had stole such a lame film, I'm sure he'd have given it back afterwards. His performance leaves just one unanswered question: what happened to him? We see a vengeful Venus take him angrily in a room threatening to do terrible things to his person. Yet that's the last we see of him. I think we should at least be told, with Goddess of Love 2: The Alphonso Story. He deserves it.

Vanna White plays Aphrodite (or Venus, as she prefers), the goddess of love, who is banished by Zeus from Mount Olympus until she can make a man love her without killing him. So she spends centuries as a statue until hairdresser David Naughton accidentally frees her. She insists he's in love with her, despite his being engaged to another woman, and won't take no for an answer. There are also two bumbling thieves straight out of a '70s Disney movie.

Vanna is gorgeous but she's the worst actress you'll ever see. She's so wooden and awkward in her line delivery. Pretty much every word out of her mouth will have you laughing for the wrong reasons. David Naughton is likable and delivers his corny dialogue like a pro. David Leisure plays Naughton's horndog friend, similar to his Empty Nest character. Amanda Bearse plays the fiancée. Little Richard, John Rhys-Davies, Philip Baker Hall, and Betsy Palmer also appear. It's obviously not a very original plot, bearing strong similarities to films like One Touch of Venus and Mannequin, among many others. I will say the ending was somewhat surprising, but not really in a good way. There is an enjoyable amount of cheese, to say nothing of the oddity of seeing the Wheel of Fortune chick trying to act. Worth a look if you like corny made-for-TV junk.