Bette Midler: Winifred Sanderson

Abracadabra

Winifred Sanderson

Winifred Sanderson: You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one on toast!

Winifred Sanderson: Well, tell me friend, what is this contraption?
Bus Driver: I call it a bus.
Winifred Sanderson: A bus. And its purpose?
Bus Driver: To convey gorgeous creatures such as yourselves to your most...
[cracks his knuckle]
Bus Driver: Forbidden desires.
Winifred Sanderson: [laughs] Well, fancy! We desire children.
Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there's gonna be a problem.

Winifred Sanderson: Unfaithful lover long since dead. Deep asleep in thy wormy bed. Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes, twist thy fingers toward the sky. Life is sweet, be not shy. On thy feet. So sayeth I!

Winifred Sanderson: [Exiting the clay oven where they were lured by a learn-to-speak French tape] Hello, I want my book. Bonjour, je veux mon livre.

Billy Butcherson: [to Winifred, after finally freeing his mouth] Wench! Trollop! You buck toothed, mop riding firefly from hell!
[Winifred yells offensively]
Billy Butcherson: [happily to Max] I've waited centuries to say that.
Max: [disgusted] Say what you want; just don't breathe on me!
Winifred Sanderson: Billy! I killed you once, I shall kill you again, you maggoty malfeasence! Hang on to your heads!

Winifred Sanderson: Therefore, it stands to reason, does it not, sisters dear? That we must find the book, brew the potion and suck the lives out of the children of Salem before sunrise. Otherwise it's curtains. We evaporate! We cease to exist! Dost thou comprehend?
Mary Sanderson: You explained it beautifully, Winnie. They way in which you started out with the adventure part and slowly.
Sarah: Explained what?
Winifred Sanderson: Come, we fly!

Winifred Sanderson: Sisters, All Hallow's Eve has become a night of frolic, where children wear costumes and run amok!
Sarah: Amok!
[dances around]
Sarah: Amok, amok, amok, amok, amok.
[Winifred punches Sarah in the stomach]
Sarah: Ugh!

Master's Wife: Okay that's it, party's over! Get out of my house!
Master: Now, pudding face.
Master's Wife: Shove it, Satan!
Sarah: Ooh. Thou mustn't speak to Master in such a manner.
Master: They call me Master.
Master's Wife: Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you. Now, tart-face, take your Clark bars and get out of my house!
Winifred Sanderson: Make us!
[the witches gather around her]
Master: Honeybunch.
Master's Wife: Ralph, sic 'em!
[the witches runs out of the house in fear]

Sarah: I am alive!
Winifred Sanderson: Damn that boy, he's tricked us again.
Mary Sanderson: Oh, you're right, you're always right.
Winifred Sanderson: [Interjects] It's my curse, that and you two! Get off me you thundering oafs!

Max: You've messed with the great and powerful Max! Now you must suffer the consequences! I'm going to summon the burning rain of death!
Winifred Sanderson, Sarah, Mary Sanderson: [murmuring together] The burning rain of death?
Max: [lights lighter]
Winifred Sanderson: Look, he makes fire in his hand.
Max: [raises lighter to sprinkler, and the spreads out his arms wide]
Winifred Sanderson: It's the burning rain of death! Come, you fools!
[pulls them off to the side]

Winifred Sanderson: Don't get your knickers in a twist! We're just three kindly old spinster ladies.
Mary Sanderson: Spending a quiet evening at home.
Sarah: Sucking the lives out of little children!
[Winifred chokes Sarah]

Jay: Oh man, how come it's always the ugly chicks that stay out late?
Winifred Sanderson: [Winnie, Sarah and Mary stop, turn and glare at the boys] Chicks?

Winifred Sanderson: [sings while flying] Book! Come to Mommy!
Voice of Thackery Binx: [Jumps on the book to prevent it from floating up to Winifred, with a screech] Afraid not!
Winifred Sanderson: Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline. Still alive?
Voice of Thackery Binx: And waiting for you!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! Thou hast waited in vain. And thou will fail to save thy friends, just as thou failed to save thy sister!
[Screams and swoops down toward Binx]