Las Tortugas Ninja

There's no CGI in this bodacious, brazen, balls-to-the-wall blast of pure butt-kicking, nineties-slang spewing and turtle-y awesome fun, just pure rubber, rubber, rubber and it is absolutely beautiful. If you don't have a smile on your face from beginning to end, I can't help you my friend, because there's almost nothing more entertaining than these four teenage turtles just doing their thing, even if it is a bit camp and strangely slow on occasion. Mikey loves being a turtle and it's easy to see why; this is simply some of the most fun I've had in a long time (also one of the best comedies I've watched in a while) and it reminds me just how bad the joyless remake really is. It finds a perfect balance between levity and seriousness, meaning that you're constantly smiling and everything just adds to the absolute joy of it all. It's also surprisingly action-packed and well-versed in that area, too. A blast from beginning to end. 7/10

On your first read of the title, you may think "Ah...the Ninja Turtles...kid's stuff". That conclusion is partially understandable, considering the fact that most people's minds drift towards the Saturday morning cartoon show, which was made for little kids. But if you are one of the handful of people who remembers the original TMNT comic book and how dark it was, you will probably think more of the name. This live-action version of the Teenaged Turtles reaches back into its comic book origins and sacrifices the kiddie stuff in favor of a darker, more brooding film. This is the key to this movie's greatness. It shows the Turtles how they were meant to be shown. The movie is still fun, though, supplying the viewer with all the early 90's teenager slang and ass-kicking that you can squeeze onto celuloid. The only problem is that the whole Ninja Turtles franchise has come with a love it or hate it tag attached to it, often times giving it a bad rap that it really doesn't deserve. The film is no Blade Runner or Spiderman by any means, but it's still a great little piece of cinema that you can just sit down with a bowl of popcorn (or maybe a pizza) and enjoy without much thought. Sadly, this is as good as the series gets (not that this movie could get much better). The sequels (TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze and TMNT 3) aren't really that great. TMNT 2 lacks the gritty edge that makes this movie good (having Vanilla Ice on the soundtrack doesn't help much either) and TMNT 3 is obviously aimed directly for the little ones. This is the great little movie. COWABUNGA!!!

As a new generation turns 18-20 this movie was vital for many growing up. It WAS their Saturday morning routine. A necessary part of growing up, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instilled values for a generation. Both the movie and the TV show were key in this upcoming generation's development and coming of age. I recently watched this movie again for the first time in a decade, and yes it was cheesy and tacky. However, that doesn't make it bad in anyway. There are some complex issues going on beneath the surface here. First, this movie was released close to the peak of crime wave that occurred across the country in the early 1990's. A city lost in crime is saved by a few of the next generation's heroes, who are nothing more than teenagers on a quest for pizza. Second, there is a definite connection between Splinter and Jesus when he is nailed up to a wall and talking to his "sons". Many reading my comments may laugh because, lets face it, the idea of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is hilarious, but the movie spoke to a specific generation at a specific time and as a period piece it can still be appreciated. This was more than just a movie; it defined a generation. Even if the movie makes no sense go with it and watch it for the ridiculous 1990's dialogue...Its funny, enjoy!

The once-very-popular Turtles, who are trained in the martial arts courtesy of their master, a rat named Splinter, are duty-bound to save the city from a group of youths that are known as The Foot, who have been stealing and committing crimes within the area. They end up befriending a young reporter named April O'Neill, who reads the news on the local TV station, after she is rescued from an attack from The Foot. Once she is home our shelled friends find that The Foot has captured Splinter, and so must rescue him and face the might of The Foot's leader -- Shredder! I was already familiar with the cartoon series (that had apparently been censored somewhat on its arrival in the UK for fear that children would copy the martial artistry), so I was a little dubious as to whether this would work in live-action. Strangely enough, even when I saw it for the first time in 1991, aged 18, I enjoyed it! It was brilliantly done, Shredder looked particularly menacing (as did his right-hand man Tatsu), and Splinter's voice sometimes moved you almost to tears, especially with the charming musical score. The martial arts action is quite well done (although Michelangelo did not have his Nunchaku weapon that his comic-book and video game version does), and the dark look of the whole thing suits it perfectly. This is certainly worth a look.

I dare anyone to hate this movie. Come on. I triple dog dare you. Sit in front of the TV with a bunch of your friends and just try not to like it. You can't. It's impossible. I was a full fledged turtle fan back in the day (I don't think the fad lasted long enough for us to earn Trekker-type names) and of course at that point, I thought it was the Gone With the Wind of our time. That, obviously, it's not. But there is something just incredibly charming about a bunch of giant turtles acting like typical sit-com kids. One even gets yelled out for sneaking out past curfew to see Critters 2. If it comes on TV, even my dad has to pause to watch at least one fight scene. If someone in a college dorm pops it in, legions of kids will exclaim "Holy sh*t! Is that Ninja Turtles?" and then plop right down in front of the TV to watch. You have to give a lot of credit to the guys who made this film. It was released in the height of the craze so they could have thrown anything on the screen and it would have been a hit. (See Ninja Turtles 2). But instead, they tried to make it the best film they could, despite the subject matter. They came up with an almost relevant, after school special type plot. The jokes and references range from Moonlighting to John Steinbeck, and the fight scenes are done in the spirit of a Jackie Chan flick. Add the fact that there are giant turtles doing the fighting, and you get a funny, imaginative, and just plain likeable movie no matter what your age. Sure, it's about pizza loving ninja turtles. But it is the best movie that could ever be made about pizza loving ninja turtles. That has to count for something.