The Pope Must Die

This silly story of an ethical priest (Coltrane) with more good heart than religious scholarship overflows with cartoon-like characters. The Reverend Mother over the orphanage hates fun and children. The Bishop is intent on church business to the exclusion of expressions of faith. The Monsigneur assisting the pope and Cardinal Rocko are working for the local gun-runner/mafia boss. The hit men claim work they didn't do, and deny work they did. And on and on.

Understand that the point of the picture is not to make fun of the Vatican, but to show an unstoppable presence that restores, time after time, sanctity and service to the Roman Catholic Church. Yes, certain figures are shown to be unscrupulous and doing wrong. Yes, we can laugh about the crucifix flip-phone and a Cardinal confessing 'If you can think of a sin, I did it!' The bad guys don't win this one, though. The good guys generally end up supported and blessed (except poor Joe Don Dante and Carreli's daughter).

I have to admit thinking about the opening scenes during the final days of Pope John Paul II. And I cringe at the moments before the announced 'Pope's Dead!'. I imagine the story is a blend of farce and speculation on rituals at the Vatican, and not to be used in religious instruction. Irreverent small story, a bit of electric rock guitar. I wonder if it is on the hidden video collection/en suite bar for Pope Benedict XVI... I keep coming back to 'The Pope Must Diet' (USA title) for a little fun.

To compete with King Ralph, this hot mess of a movie was rushed out to make a few dollars. The result is a stupid movie. While King Ralph is ridiculous, it is not dumb. It is a comical look into a very odd and unlikely scenario where an unlikely person becomes King. On the other hand, this movie is dumb. The Pope Must Die / Diet tries to be a comical story about a stupid scenario where an unlikely, unquailed, unknown and unpopular person becomes Pope without any checks or balances or common sense.

In a word where there is no checks and balances and where movies rely on one joke scenes, the Pope Must Die / Diet fails on all levels. A waste of a talented cast, the storyline Is not only dumb but insults its audience to allow any notion that the premise is believable. King Ralph is entertaining for a vast audience, young and old. There are multiple funny moments along with drama which makes it a good movie.

This sad excuse of a movie has no drama or comedy and, worse, has no audience. It is an insult to comedy, drama, Catholics, Italians, mobsters and even common sense. There are moments worth watching, but for an 84-minute movie, there should be at least a minute or two worth stomaching, let alone digesting. All in all, this is just crap.

Some scenes are just completely ignorant without any signs of worth. King Ralph would have some smart explanations to compliment the slapstick and over the top funny moments. Here, there are scenes that are just filler to get to the next scene. There is no purpose other than to just add more time to this mess of a movie.

The late Robbie Coltrane does his best to be a John Goodman Jr in his portrayal of a bumbling clown that has accidently slipped into the shoes of the Pope. Still, his character is only given moments to explain his back story and motivation. He never questions anything until he puts on the papal vestments, travels across Italy and is shown the insulting fictional accounts of the Pope's residents. This is not only hard to swallow for any audience member that you want to connect with this character, who is supposed to be likeable and sympathetic. It is hard to consider him either as the story gets more and more unrealistic.

In defense of this crap movie, by the halfway point, the movie becomes a complete farce. Although it tries to have some dramatic flair, the movie abandons any effort to be serious and goes into complete joke show to keep some members of the audience entertained.

Like chocolate spaghetti this movie has an acquired taste and a limited audience. With a re-write, this movie could be considered a cult classic. It is not because you can tell, this movie was rushed to make a deadline.

I recently hired a VHS of the Comic Strip feature film "The Pope Must Die" (starring Robbie Coltrane), which unapologetically presents the premise that the Vatican is run by dolts and scheming money-grabbing opportunists, some of whom are backed by the mafia.

The plot revolves around the consequences of a clerical error which caused a totally incorruptible and highly compassionate priest to be elected as Pope. When the Pope attempts to give all the Vatican's riches to help the poor, his fate is sealed. This film may be a comedy - but it's easy to suspect that there are large elements of truth involved. That being said - there is no attempt by the film-makers to portray the rank and file clergy as anything less than good people doing their charitable best in the world.

I am amazed at the convincing (to my untravelled eye) locations that were secured by the producers for the interior shots.

Paul Bartel turns in one of his best performances - on par with Robbie Coltrane. It's not a perfect script or plot, but the errors are few and this film has plenty of heart.

So goes this irreverent, and often hilarious "black comedy." The film does have several problems, starting with the name change from "The Pope Must Die", to "The Pope Must Diet." The movie has nothing to do with diets, but the Mob is trying to kill the Pope. Performances are uneven, from Robbie Coltrane being an acceptable totally unqualified Pope, to brilliant characterizations of unscrupulous Vatican Clergy, by Paul Bartel and Alex Rocco. That's in addition to appearances by Beverly D'Angelo and Herbert Lom. The editing is somewhat choppy, and the violence comes and goes, however overall the film succeeds as entertainment, mostly due to the inventive script, and class actors. No religious apologies are necessary, for this outrageous and hilarious comedy. MERK

This film is truly hilarious. Some people mightn't like it, but if you're Catholic and fairly broadminded, it's a scream. Annette Crosbie as the nun, and Ade Edmundson as the deaf Priest are the best performers- save for Herbert Lom and Robbie Coltrane who really make this movie come alive.