Hard Men

A firecracker of a film, except that it was exposed to dampness for too long and fails to ignite. The premise is appealing enough: a 3-man gang of East London thugs do the business for the guvnor, one "sees the light" and wants out, the others get the order to eradicate him for whatever reasons. Tension, action, exploration of a conscience-troubled character would all seem to be laid out against the backbone of the plot to make for riveting viewing. However, what we get is a clumsy, crude, badly reworked mish-mash of other films, mainly plagiarising the Quentin chap. The jokes are frankly not funny and the dialogue so depressingly unimaginative. Bad language may add to authenticity, but (unless you write like Roddy Doyle) is not the key to belly laughs. "Hard Men" wavers between wanting to be uncompromising in its violence and wanting to please all by brightening things with colourful characters. Violent it certainly is, but the attempts at humour derail the carriage, leaving the viewer with a feeling of disappointment at what could have been, given tighter scripting, better actors, an engaging score and greater focus. "Lock, Stock ..." is a long way ahead of this in all stakes.

Back in the Fifties, many a movie seemed to require one or other of its characters to say: 'hey, let's put on a show!'. In what may have passed for the gestation of this film, someone, perhaps the writer / director, said: 'Hey, let's make a movie!' The result now is much the same as the result way back then, except that in those Fifties disasters the people on each side of the camera had a reasonable idea of what they were doing. No such luck here: if I'd had to sit through this as a graduation piece from young film makers, the most charitable verdict would've been that 'Hard Men' is to movie making what Jeffrey Archer is to English Literature. In other words, no connection.

The movie doesn't so much take to the screen as set up house in a cliche -- guns, shouting, more guns, more shouting, bad language, guns, bad language, guns. As reportage it's dismal. As fiction it's unsustainable. The acting is of a standard to make one wish to hand out Oscars to those responsible for 'Night of the Lepus' ('Attack of The Killer Rabbits') and the direction as consistent as a weathervane in a hurricane.

But that ol' Fifties magic lingers on, for a third of the way through the director finally loses the plot altogether and it's time for 'hey, let's put on a show!' -- whereupon one or other of the mass murderers turns to the camera and sings about his newborn baby.

Come back, Ed Wood. All is forgiven.

Rating: unrateable.

I saw this again on TV tonight for maybe the third or fourth time, and certainly not the last. There is much to like about this little gem, but those looking for a Tarantino-esque experience (because that's all they seem to know), have been disappointed.

These negative reviewers have obviously had a sense of humour bypass, and ought to look up the word "irony" in the dictionary. Comparisons to Tarantino are facile and irrelevant, that world has nothing to do with this.

Another reviewer compared them to the Three Stooges, as if that's a BAD THING!? Although it's certainly more appropriate - three very different yet complimentary characters prone to sudden bursts of comedy violence, I found myself quite liking these guys, as opposed to the non-characters in so many movies where it's difficult to care who lives or dies.

A note on the acting - first-rate, as anyone would realise if they had seen their other work, especially Lee Ross. (The exception of course is Mad Frankie Fraser who plays himself as usual).

Doesn't take itself too seriously - 8/10

This is a hopeless mistake of a film. The director has taken some elements of "Reservoir Dogs" and "Trainspotting", mixed them up with "Get Carter" and forgotten that all those films were reliant on real creative talent. This film is derivative, pointlessly violent, horribly unfunny and badly acted.

Kristian's comparison to A Clockwork Orange is spot on. This film has far more in common with that than anything Tarantino has done. I'm guessing J K Amalou worships that film because Hard Men (without stealing ideas as some have suggested) is like an impish little brother for the original. Like A Clockwork Orange, it portrays another, detached reality, far away from the bubble world of middleclass complacency and boredom. In this world everyone is messed-up, hostile, alone and paranoic. Like Alex and his droogs, Tone and co wreak havoc on the seedy, corrupt, rotting world around them with sadistic glee. The cartoon style of the violence puts us surely in the realm of the surreal, and the bizarre and colourful costumes fuse retro influences with 90s night life in London. This lends the whole thing a feeling of timelessness. Like A Clockwork Orange, it will probably age well.

The characterisation is good and the acting is great. Vincent Regan portrays Tone with a sensitivity to the paradox of a man who squashes the city lowlife as if they were flies about to defecate on his dinner, but loves his little daughter so much that in one scene he actually glows. I challenge you to decide whether you like or despise this man. Lee Ross is wonderful as Speed, a coke-fuelled, buzzin, cotton-wool-for-brains, obnoxious teenager. He is amazingly irritating, and is clearly about to burn-out or explode with self-loathing. Ross Boatman puts in a solid performance as Bear. He is not as compelling as Regan or Ross, but his character does not have the emotional depth of Regan's, or the high caricature of Ross's.

The dreamlike quality of the film is also supported by some gorgeous cinematography. The bright cartoon colours of cheap clothes, city lights, and mugs in numerous cloned cafes are shocking against the drab, dirty buildings. There is a scene at a deserted docks; it is mesmerisingly beautiful...a perfect setting for the final resolution of events.

Admittedly, I do have the feeling this film has imbedded itself like a hatchet in my psyche, a not entirely pleasant sensation. But, if you're not into facile, candyfloss cinema, and you enjoyed the battering A Clockwork Orange and Fight Club gave you, then you're gonna love this!