Bloodletting

This one of those movies that you read the description and say, "Hm. Maybe this'll be good." And then you watch it and it's amazing! I'm sure that the one-star people are all "Duuuuude. This movie about serial killers is just weeeeeeeird." Guys? Serial killing is weird to begin with.

The plot is simple. Girl gets off seeing her best friend raped and killed by a famous serial killer. She tracks him down to become his apprentice and they move in together. Could that happen in real life? No. That's why it's a GODDAMN MOVIE.

The premise is a set up for some great jokes, interesting situations and a logical view about how two serial killers can (or can't) live together.

The script is tight. The leads are great. Most of the supporting cast, with some notable exceptions, give wonderful performances. It reportedly cost $10k to make so, yes, the production values are severely lacking but, you know what, for 10k they did a helluva a job.

Here's the analogy for the idiots who don't like this: My mom LOVES the movie Ghost. That movie is crap. *I* love the movie Truly Madly Deeply, which is basically the same ghost/love story but it towers over Ghost. Thinking she'd love it, I showed it to her. She thought it was "weird" because the ghosts watched old movies in the living room.

Don't be an idiot. Find this movie and watch it. It's so much fun!

This amateurish but nonetheless spirited gory mess was produced by sleazebag J.R. Bookwalter's company "Tempe", which offers young ambitious directors like Matthew Jason Walsh the chance to share their enthusiastic horror ideas with a modest but loyal group of B-movie fans. The budget was really really low, resulting in poor editing, only a limited number of set pieces and very bad acting performances. In fact, "Bloodletting" pretty much looks like a rookie project of some film school student, as the story is a simple "Bonnie & Clyde" or "Natural Born Killers" variant (a serial killer couple in love), only with loads of nauseating gore and extra-crazy characters. The idea is okay, but the leads are very irritating and they talk way too much which only makes their lousy acting skills more clear. The gore highlights are quite memorable, including a pleasantly deranged "This Little Piggy..."- game and of course the absurd baby-killing sequence. The last half hour is dreadfully boring, though, and filled with totally ridiculous story-twists. Overall, I expected "Bloodletting" to be a lot worse, but that still doesn't mean it's good. "Bearable" is the word.

The film, though interesting, is marred by some initially bad acting by the female lead (who does eventually get better, though). The script is sometimes too wordy for its own good, and after a while you wonder why these people are still talking and not doing anything. The whole serial killer angle is rather silly. The film suffer badly from lame direction; the film's cinematography ranges from poor to just incompetent. Yes, it's a low budget movie, but that really doesn't excuse the filmmakers from making a film that has some LIFE.

This movie got great acting and a great story with quite a few surprises. It´s about a girl (Ariuanna Albright), who blackmails a serial killer into teaching her how to kill. A very dark (and funny) movie, but not for everyone. Produced by J.R. Bookwalter and starring Tina Krause from W.A.V.E.-Productions, this is must for all b-movie lovers. Be sure to watch after the end credits. I give it 9 out of 10

I struggle reading through reviews saying any movie was the "worst ever made," as most of those reviews contain something like:

• "I'm a producer/director/writer, I should know..."
• "Not a single redeeming quality ANYWHERE!"
• "The acting is sooooo bad..."

I mean come on folks...it's not like Steven F'ing Spielberg signed on for this. It's J.R. Bookwalter and his company, giving first time filmmakers a shot at making something gory and fun. It's not supposed to be Ben-Hur.

That said, most of the reviews are correct. The movie is crap, from the acting to the production to the lighting, all the way through post and editing. But that doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable. Not in a perfect 10 kind of way, but for what it is - a cheesy B-flick made on less than a shoestring budget. I will say, the script is not to shabby, other than it tends to drag on a bit. There's also a ton of cameos from industry B-horror folks, which makes this fun. The slapstick back-and-forth between the killer and his trainee is hilarious...truly hilarious.

Look...if you've read the synopsis and it sounds appealing, if you are prepared for what you're about to see (eg cheesy, poorly funded, crappy) and know the history of the production company, then you're gonna dig this...crap and all. If you watch this expecting to see the next Fulci flick, you're here for the wrong reasons. If you expect schlock, you'll get it. Just don't watch it thinking you're going to get anything other than a bad B-flick. If you do this, you might just enjoy this as much as I did.

Parental content notes:

• quite a bit of profanity, but what do you expect from a tongue in cheek slasher?
• some sexual situations, and sex, but not gratuitous nudity all over the place.
• intense situations? Hardly. The most intensity this movie illustrates is the witty banter between the leads.
• violence and gore? Yep. It's a friggin serial killer komedy, of course. Not nearly as gory as I thought it would be, but it's there.

Look...take it at face value, as noted above. Don't compare it to anything, don't expect anything other than sleaze and schlock, and maybe even get a cold beverage in you (or 8) before you start watching. You'll be fine.