Vampiros

The modern American west has been overrun by bloodsucking ghouls, and the Catholic Church hires a crew of fearless exterminators to hunt down the undead and drag them into the sun.

I can certainly sympathize with Jack Crow's (James Woods) partner Anthony (Daniel Baldwin). I do not know if I could resist turning into a vampire with Sheryl Lee doing the biting. She would make me want to avoid daylight for eternity.

This was an action-packed adventure with Thomas Ian Griffith as the chief vampire, and Oscar winner Maximilian Schell (Judgment at Nuremberg), as the Cardinal that did not want to die.

Oh, that Sheryl Lee! It was only brief nudity, but it was all she had to offer.

But then kind of sputters out a bit and devolves into a bunch of talking with a decent finale scene. It was ok, entertaining enough. I was genuinely so excited to watch this again after watching the first 15-20 minutes, thinking it's a bit of a hidden gem, eh, not exactly, but wasn't bad. If it kept the pace of the first 20 minutes it would have been an absolute classisc.

Vatican-funded vampire hunter Jack Crow (James Woods) and his sidekick Montoya (Daniel Baldwin) search for centuries-old vampire Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith) that killed their friends. They find a prostitute (Sheryl Lee) bitten by Valek and, using her telepathic link to the vampire, they try to track him down.

James Woods is really the whole show, hamming it up like the expected Carpenter cheesy macho anti-hero. Sheryl Lee is surprisingly good, as well. The worst casting is that of Thomas Ian Griffith as the villain. He's very much a post-Lestat romantic goth douchebag Dracula wannabe. Nothing frightening or exciting about him. More F bombs than a movie without Chris Tucker should probably have. This is John Carpenter's last above-average movie. It's still not a patch on his classics but it's entertaining enough.

The crusader Jack Crow (James Woods), Anthony Montoya (Daniel Baldwin) and their team are vampire slayers working for the Catholic Church under the command of Cardinal Alba (Maximilian Schell). When they find a vampire nest near Mexico, they exterminate all the vampires but their master Jan Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith) that is hidden below earth. Jack, Montoya and their friends go to a motel to celebrate with prostitutes. However, Valek comes to the motel, bites the hooker Katrina (Sheryl Lee) and kills all the vampire slayers but Jack and Montoya that flee taking Katrina with them. Jack has a meeting with Cardinal Alba that asks him to join another team. Jack leaves the meeting with Father Adam Guiteau (Tim Guinee) and decides to hunt down Valek using Katrina as a bait. Will they succeed?

John Carpenter's Vampires is an entertaining underrated film with a perfect combination of terror, action and humor. There are many funny lines and the casting is perfect. Sheryl Lee is extremely hot especially on the bed scene where she is nude. Once again John Carpenter makes a great film. My vote is eight.

Title (Brazil): "Vampiros de John Carpenter" ("John Carpenter's Vampires")

Note: On 19 September 2020, I saw this film again.

Note: On 05 March 2025, I saw this film again.

John Carpenter's Vampires is a flawed film, that's for sure. It is not really terrifying, despite being billed as a horror film. It is rather brutal, and the film's humor and the actions of the characters have been accused in some quarters of having a misogynistic bent. So why is this film so much fun? Two words: James Woods. An extremely underrated actor, Woods is nearly perfect in the role of cocky Jack Crow, a renowned vampire hunter. He chews scenery with relish, handles his character's off-color humor with panache, and never lets up his colorful performance for one minute. Is John Carpenter's Vampires art? No. Is it great filmmaking? No. Is it a good time at the movies with a central performance that will put a smile on your face? You bet. And, occasionally, that is enough. Who says the B-picture is dead?