Guess What Happened to Count Dracula?

After seeing this slow-moving and very monotonous film I'm still trying to figure exactly what was supposed to have "happened" to Count Dracula, and I've come to the decision that I really couldn't care less. It's another fairly straight take on the "modernized vampire" routine, with Dracula now called "Count Adrian," and setting his sights on a 1970's gal who eagerly falls under his spell. Mix in some voodoo rituals and a weird "Dracula Club" and you've still got nothing. Adrian is played with camp by Des Roberts, who feigns a pretty bad Bela Lugosi accent and likes to make weird faces a lot. Still, he's considerably better than the rest of the no-name cast who can't act to save their souls, and whose stupid characters don't seem to know a vampire when they see one. * out of ****

While being one of the worst films ever made, it has the distinction of probably being the only gay porn film to be edited into a PG-rated horror comedy.

This film was first released in 1969 as "Does Count Dracula Really Suck?" and as "Dracula and the Boys." The XXX rated film follows a gay Count Dracula (aka "Count Adrian") around as he prances and frolics with fellow vampires and hangers-on, then has graphic sex with them. This hardcore cut played the gay grindhouse circuit in New York, LA and San Francisco. The movie also played under the titles "Lustful Dracula", "Dracula: Sexual Vampire," and "Orgy of the Vampire" among others.

Then the producers hit upon a fine idea to make more money- cut out all the sex and release it under its original title! Re-released in 1971 as "Guess What Happened to Count Dracula?", the film left many people wondering exactly that. Aside from taking place in modern times with an over-acting camp style Count, what was the life-changing (death-changing?) "happening" that the film's title alluded to? The mystery remained unresolved until Something Weird found an uncut print of the original hardcore version in the 1980's. Dracula was acting effeminate and quirky because... he was a quirky, effeminate gay vampire! Ahh... it all makes sense now.

The movie even made it onto the cover of "Famous Monsters" in the June '71 issue. This was where I first heard of it and I then happened to see it one night on a UHF broadcast in the late '80s. I thought that it was one of the worst movies I'd ever seen, and though I haven't rewatched it since, I still remember how stupid it was. It made quite an impression on me.

The movie is available on a double-feature DVD from Something Weird Video where it is paired with another X-rated Dracula title that was later cut down into a GP rating, "Dracula The Dirty Old Man."

This film has to be among the funniest ever, even if it wasn't intended to be that way. There are random close-ups on Count ADRIAN for no reason, fang bites being mistaken for a love bite, very stupid people not realising who ADRIAN is and much other comedy. It is impossible to describe this films hilarity....it must be seen!!!

Sample quotes:

1) Angelica: Adrian, there's a gorilla over there......

Adrian: Yes!!!

2) Adrian: I drink only blood......Bloody Mary!

Count Dracula transforms himself into charming alpha vampire Count Adrian in order to escape the communism.He runs a restaurant called Dracula's Castle in Los Angeles and fights with his new love's ex-boyfriend.Very boring and inept vampire movie with laughable central performance of Des Roberts.So if you are into dim lighting,chainsaw editing,a Dracula themed nightclub and some of the worst acting ever captured on screen you may give this cheap trash a look.The battle between Count Adrian and another vampire is only funny moment in this strikingly unfunny piece of garbage.4 vampires out of 10.Or should I say:ineptitude taken to the new level.