Inside Désirée Cousteau

I had the flu one day in 1981, and no cable. Even in LA, there isn't always anything good on free TV. So I dragged myself out of bed and rented this title, along with the Lenny Bruce Performance Film. At a time when the cheapest VCR still cost $600 in 1981 bucks, I'd recently purchased two used VCRs with different things wrong with them for a total of $150. They worked when connected together, and weighed as much as small refrigerator.

I got the idea that Cousteu wasn't Desiree's real last name, even without the help of IMDB, because she pronounces it differently in different scenes.

Late in the film, there's a scene where she "does" a gent well into middle age. I assume a producer or pal of one of the filmakers, as he didn't have a porno physique. Desiree gives it up, but you can see she's definately not into it. The mature gent enjoys himself; there are no weird angles to expose the old in-n-out. "Good for him," I thought, though I am only now reaching his age.

In this age of implants, one has a tendency to take a jaundiced look at spectacular bodies. I wasn't hip to this in '81, when the process was much less common in any event. So I don't know how I'd react now. But she was a real beauty, or so it seemed at the time.

This was the first 'porn' movie I ever saw. Way back in the 80's. It's pretty funny to watch even now. Probably more so because of it's age. There is not much to say about the story itself. But considering it was shot on film rather than video like most of todays material now is it looks better for it in my opinion. There is just something about porn 'films' that says something that todays video material cannot. It has more of a 'fantasy' feel to it. Where video seems too real and lacking.

There is a song in this movie that I have been trying to track down for some time with no luck. It's worth seeing for the kitchen scene and that song alone. Plus it features the now legendary deceased porn 'actor' John Holmes. Desiree herself looks very natural. Clearly not exhibiting the surgical 'attributes' of todays porn stars. If she did have any enhancements it is hard to tell. I am unsure if there is a different 'cut' of this movie as I only saw an uncut version that showed everything in very graphic detail. So there may be a 'soft' version that I did not see floating around. Possibly on some cable broadcasts.

As porn movies go it was well made, at times funny, other times very cheesy. The 'acting' is pretty much nonexistent for this type of 'movie'.

But then it's not made for that purpose. As exploitative pornography goes it's just another step along a well trodden path. But as a teenager who had never seen anything else it was something that has stuck in my memory for a very long time.

Inside Désirée Cousteau (1979)

*** (out of 4)

Desiree Cousteau plays herself as she tells us how she got into the porn industry. She starts off talking about previous jobs she had and how they prepared her for having sex in front of a camera.

If you're expecting some sort of real documentary on Cousteau then you're going to be disappointed. I honestly don't know how much of this is real but it seems pretty obvious that this was just produced to get the beautiful Cousteau in front of the camera in a funny slant. The film is basically a bunch of vignettes where Cousteau talks to the camera and then we see the "action" of the story.

There's obviously nothing ground-breaking here and the comedy isn't nearly as effective as what we saw the actress do in PRETTY PEACHES but at the same time if you're a fan of Cousteau then you'll enjoy watching this. There's no question that she has an undeniable charm and she manages to make you laugh even sometimes when she isn't trying to be funny. Another major plus is that she's got an amazing body so watching her hardcore scenes are certainly entertaining.

The film has a rather cheap feel to it and technically there's nothing overly impressive about it but if you're watching it then you're here for one thing and that Cousteau.

It's both Porn and Comedy, funny and exciting at the same time. Desiree Cousteau looks great too! Worth seeing!

"Inside Désirée Cousteau" (1979) is a unique foray into the adult film industry, centering on the captivating Désirée Cousteau and her journey to becoming a porn star. It's an intriguing concept that blends porn and comedy, creating an odd yet entertaining mix.

The film shines brightest when it focuses on Cousteau herself. She is undoubtedly the star, exuding charisma and a certain enthusiasm that draws you in. Cousteau's performance is raw and captivating, and she embraces the narrative with confidence. She takes us through her previous jobs and experiences, painting a picture of how she found her niche in front of the camera. It's an intimate and bold portrayal, and Cousteau fans will undoubtedly eat it up.

However, the film falls short in several areas. The pacing is uneven, with some parts dragging and others feeling rushed. The script is also underwhelming and fails to provide any meaningful insights or depth to the story. While the comedy elements are a nice touch, they are not enough to elevate the entire film.

The cinematography is hit or miss. While some scenes are visually appealing and creatively directed by Kirtman, others fall flat. The infamous boom mic shadow in the pool scene, for example, is a notable distraction. The overdubbing is also inconsistent, with some finding it comedic, while others may find it takes away from the overall experience.

That being said, "Inside Désirée Cousteau" has its moments. The final action scenes could have been more impactful, but Cousteau's energy and commitment to her craft shine through. She embraces each new chapter in her story with a certain zeal, which is refreshing.

Overall, "Inside Désirée Cousteau" is a mixed bag. While Cousteau's performance and the film's comedic elements provide some entertainment value, the pacing issues and lackluster script hold it back. It's a somewhat forgettable experience, but one that has its moments of intrigue, thanks to the leading lady's undeniable charm.

So, if you're a fan of Cousteau or curious about this unique blend of porn and comedy, give it a watch. Just don't expect a masterpiece-it's a fun, light-hearted journey into the world of Désirée Cousteau that doesn't take itself too seriously.