Once Upon a Honeymoon

The credits that I can see while watching this as part of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode don't say so, but this must have been sponsored by Western Electric as a soft-sell for their telephones.

Our first clue is that the angels use modified telephone installer handsets - the kind with the dial on the back. Our next clue is how the phone is the cap of every room's imaginary redesign. Finally, it is the phone that gives the composer the idea for the song that springs the couple on to their honeymoon.

Common element: telephones.

There are similar short films extolling electricity, gas, cars, and, uh, cars (lots of cars). This one is tastefully done and doesn't quite hit you over the head with "phones come in colors now so order one today!" sensibility.

A Fifties couple (choreographer Ward Ellis and dancer Virginia Gibson as songsmith Jeff and his wife Mary) are on their way out the door for their honeymoon, delayed one year already, when the show's producer Gordon (long-time character actor Alan Mowbray) calls up with bad news - their show's diva Sonya doesn't like the tune to a big number, and demands an immediate rewrite! Jeff, predictably, suffers from writer's block being asked to produce a new tune on demand - so supernaturally adorable Mary goes into the ::shudder:: outdated kitchen and begins singing about the modern kitchen she wishes she had, complete with telephone -

Speaking of "supernatural", there's an Angel on their roof, Wilbur, who looks and acts like Charles Nelson Reilly playing Sammy Glick, but who is actually longtime B-movie star Chick Chandler. He's been sent to expedite Jeff's and Mary's honeymoon - good thing he has an eight- ball of coke (er, "bag of magic dust") handy, hmmm?

This bit of charming/mindroasting whimsy/insanity was intended to market Bell Telephone's new color-coordinated phones, which could match the decor of any room and came in a variety of shapes as well, but that particular selling point is buried in a supernatural musical comedy one-act that looks like a demented precursor to THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW. Directed by legendary dance choreographer/director Gower Champion, it's remarkably well done, the script has genuine bits of wit to it, the music is superior to its purpose as a marketing tool, the cast is top-notch and game - and as Tom Servo wondered when it aired on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, "What the Hell was that about, anyway?"

Watched on its own its charms this short might not be appreciated, but watched with Mike and the 'Bots, it's a classic of WTF?ery for me. Watch it yourself, and see how you feel....

Songwriter Ward Ellis and bride Virginia Gibson have put off their honeymoon for a year. He's just completed the score for Alan Mowbray's new show. They are about to take off when Mowbray phones. Star Veronica Patakay loves the lyrics but wants new music for a song. They can't leave until he comes up with it. Ellis hasn't an idea in his head. Fortunately, chief angel Russell Hicks sends assistant angel Chick Chandler down to help out.

Producer Jerry Fairbanks was cutting down on his contracts with Paramount for series of short subjects, and hadn't moved firmly into television yet. Fortunately, for studios like his, there were industrial films, advertising for companies, and so director Gower Champion directs this movie to feature the vast variety of colors of telephones you could get in your home.

It's fairly subtle when it comes to pushes the product,, what is called the soft sell. But it's not as subtle as all that. Decent choreography, though.

I didn't quite get what this was. It's about an angel named Wilbur that lands on a couple's roof and stays up there sprinkling dust that apparently goes through their roof into their house. Meanwhile the couple, Mary and Jeff are struggling because Jeff needs to write a song so they can go on their honeymoon. Then Mary bursts into a long musical number out of nowhere that seems to be advertising for telephones. They end up finding Jeff's song by turning the telephone dial, which somehow makes him think of this song, so they go on a honeymoon. It really makes no sense and I'm not quite sure what the plot actually is. The angel did absolutely nothing except he dropped dust on the telephone, and it really could've been shortened to not have the angel. One particularly funny scene takes place over a couple hours and it seems Jeff has smoked about 40 cigarettes. This is a really bad short.

My rating: BOMB/****. 15 mins.

Yes, the lady of the house is obsessed with co-ordinating telephones for every room so this must be a commercial in disguise! Directed by Gower Champion (he of the dancing duo) it really is an odd entry into musical shorts. Virginia Gibson (Mary) sings and dances a bit while husband Ward Ellis (Jeff) has to write one final song before they go on honeymoon.

Of course the inspiration for the song is ... the telephone and the rotary dial! Rather naff and cute and extremely kitsch, this short also has a camp angel called Wilbur who doesn't seem to do a great deal expect perch on the roof and throw down some fairy dust ...