Hellgate: The House That Screamed 2

This movie is pure garbage.

I am a great big b-movie horror fan, and I picked this up, going, "Maybe it'll be worth a laugh before sleep." I'm very forgiving of these b-movies. After all, if they were better at what they did, they wouldn't BE b-movies.

If I'm laughing, it's in sheer disgust.

The sound effects appear to have come from a library of tiny, tiny sound clips and are repeated constantly and beyond reason. The bad animation effects, makeup, and (literal) puppetry would be enough to condemn this on their own.

And as for cinematography--well. It looked worse than your average home movie. Furthermore, if I saw one more inverse-colored shot, or unexplainable interruption filmed in sepia tones, or grainy two-colored shots with something that may or may not be an actual shape of some sort, I would have screamed. Nothing actually frightening in the movie itself except the camera-work, that's for sure.

Anyway. The dialogue is ridiculous and juvenile, and I can't even put to words what I think of the 'plot' and the acting. I am not actually able to spoil the 'plot' because I honestly couldn't find one outside of "This is a scary house. Now have some nudie shots!" I am almost certain this whole thing is just a simpleminded, ninety-minute vehicle for fan-boy gorehound slashing and softcore porn.

I don't care how bored you are. I don't care if it is your honest mission to rent every movie at your local Blockbuster. Unless you are on a hardcore drive to waste your brain cells as fast and as inhumanely as possible, KEEP AWAY FROM THIS FILM. And based on the previews in the beginning for their other works, from Brain Damage films in general.

I'm leaving my desk as soon as I'm done writing this, because I have a 20 year old video camera and 90 min. to kill. What am I gonna do? I'm glad you asked... I'm gonna go into my backyard and film my dog running around in circles, because if The House that Screamed II received distribution, then I know my movie will also. Heck, I didn't know it was this easy... Since this movie got video distribution, then I expect mine to get a theatrical release. You're all invited to the premiere! I'll see you in Hollywood... I'm gonna make millions!!!!!!!!!

This movie is endless side splitting humor and good fun, worthy of Eddie Murphy! The bimbo with the clown breasts will have you in stitches! "Come to me, cooommmee to meeee". The attack scene with that sock-puppet monster is a Polonia classic for a reason! You have to see the part where the ghost can't get into the house because they...you guessed it...THEY CLOSED THE DOOR!!! Yeah, take that ghost! But the best part of all, was Jon Mcbride's "The spirits are preventing us from entering the house!" Hysterical! I watched with the directors comments, and even the Polonia brothers themselves, those brilliant masters of comedy, couldn't contain their laughter! Wait a minute...isn't this a horror film?

I never saw part 1, but I decided to rent this sequel because I wanted to see the acting of one of the actors (that I've known for a while) and I don't want to get anyone mad, I respect people who work in these b-movies but the plot was just boring, and the actress who appears topless for who knows why she wasn't sexy enough, (i honestly think that fake boobs look awful), anyway the effects and acting were okay, but only see it if you like "haunted housesa and humongous breasts).

I saw this movie about 5 or 6 months ago. I still can't get it out of my head how bad this flick was. Jon McBride and John Polonia should be shot. This 'movie' made me weep and convulse in pain. The girl with the HUGE clown-breasts was the scariest thing going here! Don't watch even if you're being paid to! Avoid like the plague! Oh the humanity!