Rent Control

My friends and I were hanging out and came upon this movie completely by accident. We watched it for a good twenty minutes, our mouths hanging open.

What can't be emphasized enough- what I'm still reeling from- is how this managed to be screened on the ABC Family channel. If I were a parent, I'd be appalled, likely, making phone calls about it. How a movie featuring an endless parade of weirdos- including a sadomasochist (!!)and a necrophiliac (!!!!)- and centering on a couple's attempts to rid themselves of an old lady's body, could ever be construed as "family" entertainment is mind-boggling. "Rent Control" is only a family movie insomuch as it features Melissa Joan Hart- having not developed one jot as an actor since her kid-stardom- and is wretched in that particular way that afflicts most children's films: simplistic, poorly shot, with terrible jokes and lines of duologue- really, whole scenes- that make no sense. Basically, it's a film about perverts geared toward five-year-olds. I'm the last one to talk about Hollywood corruption of the youth, but, holy sh**.

Carmen Electra is sexy, but that is a given...what's great about this little film is its excellent direction. I have never seen anything from this particular director before, but the performances here are all of obvious quality, and the comic timing is dead on.

Melissa Joan Hart Makes the worst movies imaginable and is a mediocre actress at best. Carmen Electra fares a little better here but she's not known for good movies either. The only person that saves this from being a total turkey is Don Novello, always reliable and funny. Supposed hijinks to keep living in a New York apartment has poor writing, average directing, passable acting, and very few laughs. There were no laughs in Sabrina or any other movie Hart has made. I'd rather watch the Olsen twins, I'd rather watch the Brady Bunch, I'd rather have a root canal. The fact that MJH and Carmen have made a living being adorable and cute won't change the fact that you'll want those two hours of your life back.

"Rent Control" (also known as "Aunt Agatha's Apartment") had a troubled release history. It was shot in late 2001 before 9/11 and then shelved for not finding a distribution channel; when a distribution company picked it up they edited it to make it sellable to ABC Family Movie, who aired it. It was later released on DVD in late 2006. The problem is that "Rent Control" isn't a family movie. It's an adult comedy. Yes, it has the lovable Melissa Joan Hart and an overall lighthearted, fun vibe and, no, it doesn't have any cussing, but it does include some adult scenes. For instance, one woman a young couple (Hart & Ryan Browning) seek to rent an apartment from is a sadomasochist. But the biggest non-family issue is the presence of a necrophiliac janitor in Aunt Agatha's apartment building.

You heard me right, a freakin' necrophiliac! There's a scene where the janitor in question puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on his door and it's just puke-inducingly SICK to consider what was going to occur in that apartment. No doubt it was an attempt at black humor, but it failed.

Yet that's a very small part of the story, which entails Hart & Browning trying to find an affordable apartment in NYC. They're temporarily staying in Aunt Agatha's quarters and, when she unexpectedly dies, they try to hide the fact from the weird landlord.

Melissa is her usually cute, winsome self and she's perfectly contrasted by the worldly Carmen Electra, who may or may not come between Hart & Browning. Andrew Kavovit also has a significant role as an elevator man infatuated with Electra; and Joseph Reitman effectively plays the weirdo super.

FINAL WORD: Despite the failed attempt at black humor noted above, "Rent Control" is a very amusing situational comedy intended for adults and older teens with an excellent cast & characters. From the get-go it's clear that the movie's a farce and not to be taken seriously; as another reviewer points out, it's not "Based on a True Story." Anyone who takes it seriously needs to visit the psych ward. In any event, "Rent Control" is highly entertaining and that's the bottom line.

The film runs 95 minutes.

GRADE: B+

This film could've been a lot better.

They obviously have the money, so the production doesn't look like crap. It's TV film quality, which isn't all that bad. MJH and Electra are big name actresses, that's another plus. The story has some interesting themes, two "hicks" coming from Iowa to NYC to chase their dreams but things start unravelling. The aunt dies and the rest of the story is attempting to stay in the apartment.

The story suffers from an identity crisis, it is not sure if it wants to be a drama or comedy and goes for the middle, ending up nowhere. They could've done more with Holly's partying (not just smoking a cigarette), more of her and her doomed career (everyone wants to be an actor, she has no experience and no talent. Let us see her hopes crushed and turn to drugs, turn against Calvin). Calvin is a fish out of water in NYC. Show us something more than just an affair that is brushed off. Show us Calvin getting totally lost.

Show us a hard-hitting drama about a small-town couple getting thrown into the belly of the beast that is New York. Show us a story intertwining with Audrey's prostitution, acting hopes, fake agents, financial issues, etc.

The real story is scarier than aunt whatever's corpse.

Or make it a total comedy. Take out the stupid stuff. The love stuff, prostitution, cheating, sadness. Make us laugh.

If you want a movie that does not move your nor make you laugh, this is the one. I'm a fan of MJH, but that's not enough.