The Legend of the Tamworth Two

January 1998. Tamworth, England. As the farmer delivers his three pigs to the local slaughter house, a mistake is made and two of the three make a break for freedom. Butch and Sundance evade the law and come across a group of hippies asleep, camping in the woods. After eating some of the hippies', ahem, herbs the duo receive a question from a magical wild boar and they set off cross country. Once the media gets hold of it, the hunt becomes a national obsession - bringing the pig hating Wolf onto the scene.

This was screened as an hour long BBC special on Easter Monday 2004 and I was curious enough to give it a go. I knew that the very basic truth of the situation is that two pigs got away from their owners for a day or two and then were caught. And that's it. However it says more about our lives (or rather what the tabloids think the public want) that the media blew it up into a massive story. So it is not too big a leap for writer Mercurio to take the story even further and fictionalise even more of it. Having seen Babe and loved it, I'm not against this sort of thing but it is a problem that this film just isn't fun enough to do the job.

What I had hoped for was a comic tale that is fanciful enough for kids but also witty and sharp enough for adults. Sadly that didn't happen - instead the film tries to open it out into more of a fantasy drama, albeit with the odd laugh here and there. The film occasionally embraces wild fantasy to the point that it is really imaginative but most of the time the touches don't work. The drama really doesn't work at all as, without humour, it just comes across as silly. The film makes a few points about media and the hypocrisy about eating meat but yet caring for `da widdy animals' but these don't really work either simply because I couldn't tell if it was being sincere or not.

The cast aren't that hot either, although the script doesn't give them much to work with. Boyd and Pierson are pretty bland (although the latter is cute) but it was the pig's I was more let down by. I was surprised how little they used them to get laughs - the animatronics was average but good enough for this. The lines should have been much sharper but they weren't. Lucy Davis is one of them and it gave me hope (Office, Shaun Of The Dead) but both she and her co-pig had awful accents that put me off! Small roles from Langham, Sayle and Sessions. Brian Blessed is unmistakable and lends his voice to an effect more convincing than that terrible thing in Phantom Menace! Whately was a key character but all he does is ham it up rather badly (sorry - I tried to write this review without a pun, but I couldn't do it!). He should have been a pantomime villain who was fun to hate but he wasn't - he just lacked bite somehow.

Overall, I wanted to really like this - it's a Bank Holiday, it's a kid friendly comedy with great potential for imaginative jokes and dialogue (a la Chicken Run) but all this did was mess things up with an unsure script and some lacklustre performances from key players. The attempts to use movie references are lazy, obvious and unfunny - the Jaws one is OK but the Fight Club bit is just useless. Lucy Davis has worked with Simon Pegg so she knows what a great, witty and clever script looks like but she made a mistake with this one - and so did I.

YASS QUEEN I WATCHED THIS WITH MY WOW. WHAT WOULD YOU do IF WHEN YOU OKAY SAID YES WOULD GO!!!!!!111 OINK xxxx. I owe my life to Tamworth pigs I worship and praise Tamworth pigs this movie really inspired me to Tamworth pig. I watch this while I harvest my crops this move inspired me to go Greenwich and get a crop. Did you know Tamworth pigs are the largest pig I the world they have the loudest oink and they eat so many crops and the cow up to 6 meters high and they are 500 stone and they com e in all colours such as green and blue sometimes. Did you know you need a lorry to transport Tamworth pigs due to their immense weight.

Thank you so much. This means the world to me.

... but sorry, it didn't work. I loved the concept, and there are some truly talented actors here(Brian Blessed and Kevin Whately), but what didn't work was that the script was not great leaving the actors little to work with or do and the story didn't know whether it wanted to be comical or serious. Based on a true story, The Legend of the Tamworth Two does have its good things. One is that the animiatronics and scenery are good. The music was also pretty nice as well, the Tamworth Pigs were cute and Brian Blessed and Emma Pierson are fine in their roles. The story though is bland, not only is it unevenly paced but it is very unfocused at times. The script is also a major problem, it could have been witty and sharp for both kids and adults but the humour wasn't funny and the drama was slushy. And as for the references to other films, I had no problem with the Jaws reference but the Fight Club one should've been completely scrapped. The direction is rather plodding too, some scenes at the beginning are quite poorly directed. While the pigs were cute, the accents were awful, and Darren Boyd manages to as bland as the story. My biggest disappointment though was Kevin Whately; I like Whately, he is great in Inspector Morse, Lewis and Peak Practice, and I enjoyed his turn in the Joan Hickson adaptation of A Murder is Announced but as the Wolf, he does overact to the point of embarrassment, though I will say I don't think the script helped him that much. At 60 minutes, The Legend of the Tamworth Two is pretty tame, but for those in the want of a charming piece of escapism(like Babe for instance), it is pretty bland as well. 4/10 Bethany Cox

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

This tale recounts the true story of Butch and Sundance,the two pigs who escaped from an abottoir in the January of 1998.A massive hunt ensues for them in which the notorious pig hunter Wolf (Kevin Whateley) is called in to help.However,news of their escape became common knowledge and a massive public campaign was launched,headed by the British tabloid The Daily Mail,to 'free the Tamworth Two.'

Although it's primarily inspired by a true story,the tone of the story borrows rather heavily from Babe,the Hollywood blockbuster which originally featured the concept of the talking pig.Obvious care has been put in to it,but the script somehow fails to come together properly,with some goofy,unbelievable characters not helping matters.It's probably a bit too short as well,making it all the more of an underwhelming affair.Aside from the images of the two cute little pigs,the film really just fails to be truly charming in any way,despite being an adaptation of an endearing real life story.**

There's not much to say about this effort, other than it may well appeal to very young children or people with a very, very soft spot for pigs.

The problem with the Legend of the Tamworth Two is that it does not clearly separate fact from fiction. A simple documentary presented in an appropriate fashion would have been a far more entertaining way of telling the story. That said, the parody of Quint from Jaws was engaging, briefly.

If you are a big Babe fan, this may be your cup of tea. If you're not, it won't be.

'Nuff said.