The Poseidon Adventure

While the original movie was quite suspenseful this movie is over three hours long which not only makes the suspense last longer but also allows you to focus more on the characters and their own personal issues. This movie really had me really excited especially during the final twenty minutes, which grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go!

This movie has the same basic storyline as the original film, a capsized cruise ship the Poseidon and a group of survivors makes an audacious attempt to reach the hull of ship while trying to bypass many life threatening hazards and death traps. But while the Poseidon was capsized by as tsunami in the original film, in this TV remake the Poseidon is capsized by a terrorist bombing. Also while the original film only told the story from the survivors point of view, this film also explains the situation outside the Poseidon. For example the ocean radio monitoring service trying to figure out what happened to the Poseidon when all radio contact is lost, and once the situation is learned we see the navy and marines racing against time to reach the Poseidon and discussing how they are going to rescue any survivors.

However there will also be another remake of 'The Poseidon Adventure' released early next year. This time it will be a major film called 'Poseidon'. Why are they making to remakes so close together? I'm not sure but it has been done before. For example in 1996 a TV movie was released of 'Titanic' just a year before James Camerons multiple Oscar winning film was released.

Also I wonder why this TV movie was released in Australia before it is even released in America? But it's good that we Aussies get to be the first to see this great TV remake of a classic suspense thriller. All together this is certainly one highly suspenseful movie and I certainly recommend it to anyone who is a fan of the original film.

By accident, we rented this instead of the original. I couldn't imagine this movie being any worse. Several scenes and characters have been added, which have no real value. There's the guy from police academy in some awful "divorce" angle. A fake ex-American idol contestant sings a whole song for no reason. There's a kids who's not just annoying, but is making humorous handi-cam films with the help of the zany crew. And oh yeah, there's a terror attack, because the dead horse is only half-beaten by TV standards, I guess. There's also a creepy old crewman who's trying to get with some teenager, and the priest in this film is a far weaker character/actor.

Add in some of the most un-inspired editing, music, and dialogue imaginable and that sums up the worst of this movie. I'd rather draw a picture of boat upside-down and stare at it for two hours rather than repeat watching 10 min. of this film.

OK, this movie was not saved even by ADAM BALDWIN!! And what's up with ROBOCOP getting shot so soon in the movie? He was horrible!! And he was drinking on duty? And then there is that dude from Police Academy. Oh my GOD he was sad. When he said "Cruiseships are not supposed to capsize" I almost barfed out a lung. I mean, this was sad. Then there is Rutger Hauer and C Thomas Howell as a Priest and Ships doctor respectively? I was half expecting Rutger to allude to "The Hitcher" and talk about the juice that spurts out of an eyeball when stabbed. Then there is that dude who is a poor man's Michael Caine! Yes, that annoying Aussie from Cocktail. He was PATHETIC as a poorly baked cake on Hitler's birthday. His acting was sad and NOT good. Then there was this CRUISE SHIP that TERRORISTS happened to infiltrate? I have been on Carnival Cruise Line and trust me, there are NO TERRORIST LOOKING DUDES EVEN ALLOWED to work on those boats!! If you look like HodGee from Johnny Qwest, then you DO NOT GET HIRED! Avoid this movie and save yourself from TORTURE IN THE NINTH DEGREE OF HELL!

Having just watch the first remake of the classic Poseidon Adventure to be released, I can now safely say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Not to say that this was a bad remake but it was not great either. Disappointing characters, none of which were endearing and it would not have been a huge loss if none of them got out. Good special effects, but not spectacular - lots of very average CG effects. The capsizing of the ship had no shock/horror effect of the original - it looked like it could be a lot of fun to go sliding across the polished floors, landing on your feet to walk up the wall to the roof of the ballroom. Let's just hope that the big screen "POSEIDON" due for release in 2006 is better than this small screen adaption. My last comment is "STELLA, STELLA, WHERE ARE YOU STELLA?"

How can I begin? It should have been called The Love Boat VII. There is nothing even interesting about this movie. Would anyone involved win this movie use it on their CV? It was one of four movies on a $5 DVD in the delete bin at Walmart. This movie cost $1.25 and at that was overpriced. I noticed that the Australian version of this thing was considerably shorter than the general release version and had we not fast forwarded through every piece of "significant" dialogue I would have kicked myself for not searching out the Aussie release.

I am somewhat grateful however knowing that should I decide to finish my story about the workday of a toll-booth collector, there are producers out there waiting. Rutger Hauer and Steve Gutenberg are already cast.

A chimpanzee could write a better screenplay by sticking a crayon where the sun don't shine and squatting over a copy of the National Enquirer.