The Union

This movie is a candidate for Riff Trax or MST3K! One hour and forty plus minutes of Marky Mark being confused. You can play a drinking game for every time he asks a question or says $#it. 90% of his script is a question!

Decent production quality, shot well, generic soundtrack, ok action, but boy does the dialogue stink! Very cliche and unimaginative writing.

Characters are predictable and even the A list actors are hard to digest, it's just not very good and is background noise as I write this review.

So if you want to Netflix and chill, press play and commence to a couch party with your partner about 30 minutes in.

It has become painfully clear that Hollywood is short on good writing. This movie has a ton of story to work with but instead flushes it down the toilet. To be clear it is a stylish action flick, it looks really pretty and the action scenes are fun to watch. The problem however is that the flick has employed an impressive number of A-list actors and gave them poop scripts. The only person that had any decent lines was J. K. Simmons, all the rest of the cast was wasted on a doo-doo script. It wouldn't be out of place to say this has been done before, and a lot better than this. After the plot was explained it was painfully obvious they just copy and pasted bits and pieces from other espionage movies to get this stylish looking thing on screens. It's too bad really, the story could have been worked into something much better than what the end result was. This is a watch and make fun of it while it plays movie, that could have been so much more.

Halle was hot in Wick, yet I don't know how they did it, but her walk was bad, her acting was bad, her fighting was bad, and her look and wardrobe was just awful. Mark was his usual good acting but even he couldn't do a whole lot with this movie. Fight scenes were sub-par, dialogue was cheesy and everything was so done before. I even stopped the movie to go take a walk. If I had had anything else to do I would not have finished it, but I didn't so ended up watching the rest and nothing about my initial perception changed. To sum up, if you have literally anything else to do go do it, otherwise set your bar low and enjoy.

Picturesque locations, good production values, some good actors and Mark Wahlberg, but nothing memorable. Perfect moving wallpaper to glance at occasionally while scrolling on your phone. Essentially it's a string of comfortable cliches strung together in a predictable sequence, designed to make you forget to cancel your Netflix subscription. Halle Berry looks better than ever, JK Simmons doesn't break a sweat using one of his 'grizzled' character templates.

The UK setting is puzzling because apart from the scenery it's almost wall-to-wall Americans doing American things in American ways. The Slovenian locations look beautiful but, again, they have no impact on the plot, which could easily have been generated by ChatGPT with a very short prompt.

Going into this action/comedy movie, I knew nothing about it and my expectation was extremely low. Maybe too low but I felt this movie started out OK. Things made sense but it went South (way South) very very quickly. Everything was sub-par ranging from action scenes to acting, and it was really getting painful to watch toward the end. There was no climax whatsoever. Thank God I was not watching this in the movie theater!

Unless you have watched everything on Netflix (which I was told simply impossible), please skip this one. You have not missed much and glad that you have followed my advice.