Penance

This movie strikes me on so many levels as absolute trash. I wish the lead actress was at least attractive. Although, she did have nice breasts... which was the only redeeming quality of this flick, gratuitous nudity. Especially in the case of one Eve Mauro. That girl is absolutely gorgeous. Smokin' hot! I think I would probably watch anything with her in it, at least once. But alas, I digress from my original reason for writing this.

"Candyman", "Dead Man on Campus", "Warlock" and Brandi Svennings dad all in one movie? They obviously did not invest wisely of their spoils from their actual roles in real movies... That, or the director/writer/producer caught and filmed them all in some suck-off man orgy together and blackmailed them into making this horrible movie.

Actually a documentary on fecal matter would probably be more entertaining than this movie is...

If you're a guy and thinking about watching this movie, punch yourself in the balls... really hard. That pain is as enjoyable as this movie is going to be for you. If you're a girl, rinse your eyes with vodka. Same goes...

I will never understand how something as bad as this gets made. Along the line, people kept giving this the green light. HOW? The actors and actresses agreed to be in it. WHY? Distributors agreed to release it. Again I ask, in F's-name WHY? The economy is steadily slipping, but it seems the movie industry will throw copious amounts of cash to whatever idiot comes along. (I bet the screenplay was written in crayon.) I think "Clerks" cost a little over fifty grand to make. No actors, no sets and lastly, no color. Taking all of that into account, this movie at the very least, probably cost a cool quarter mil. WTF?!?! Are you serious?!?! In this day and age, Jake Whatever-his-name-is should be lynched for wasting that much money. Like rappers and athletes buying gold and platinum jewelry/teeth/wheels... but that's a whole other rant...

I give it two stars. One for each of Eve Mauro's wonderful breasts. Nothing else.

Filling in for a friend on a stripping job, a young woman finds she's captured by a deranged madman intended to purify similar women for their sins and is tortured to achieve those results.

Yet another utterly retarded Torture Film here, only this one made all the more infuriated with the inclusion of the "Found Footage" moniker, so it's pretty much what would happen if "Paranormal Activity" did the "Saw" series, and that only spells disaster for all involved due to the inability to see anything going on because the camera's shaking too much. The tactic makes the usual point of such films, watching the torture methods and the abundant nudity nearly impossible to determine because of the inane manner of narrating over everything, twisting it to odd angles or positions in order to avoid being caught in such a precarious moment, which only highlights the film's biggest blunder of all in the fact that no one in their right mind would be filming during such activities and their decided inability to remove it from them to begin with and you have a pretty egregious set of flaws just from the set-up. Plus, this is yet another effort that must be downgraded for the inclusion of twisted religious reasoning since this makes no sense why the tactics must be undertaken and you have absolutely no interest beyond the nudity to watch this, which isn't that great since none of the ones who should are the ones that do. Granted, some of the torture methods are quite gruesome and bloody, overall this is a pure waste of time.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Full Nudity and Graphic Language.

What a shame that a wonderful cast full of decent character actors and genre stalwarts is wasted in a nasty little 'torture porn' style movie. The tale of a couple of strippers who are abducted by some crazy characters who plan to punish and perform cruel surgery on them is an awful one, let down by overwrought acting, dodgy execution, and unpleasant gore effects.

The only reason I watched this was for all the familiar faces. Genre mainstays like Lochlyn Munro, James Duval, and Jason Connery all have minor parts. The main villain is played by Graham McTavish, a personal favourite of mine purely because of his wonderful character in RAMBO, and he's good here too, although he has little to work with. We also get a brief Tony Todd cameo, and a nicely sleazy turn for Michael Rooker. It's just a pity with all the talent involved that they couldn't come up with something better than this 'torture porn' dreck.

They don't get much worse than this. Plot makes no sense. Characters wouldn't all be that stupid. This is a "found video footage" type movie and you are supposed to believe there are many cameras and everyone's first priority, even at their own peril is to videotape things. Your life is in immediate danger, you need to stop and videotape. Please.... If you came for the nudity, it's not worth it. If you came for the violence it's uninspiring. And there really is not much nudity or violence anyway. 1 star but deserves less.

When I stumbled upon the 2009 thriller "Penance" from writer and director Jake Kennedy, I opted to sit down to watch it because it was a movie that I hadn't already seen nor heard about, plus there were some interesting names on the cast list.

However, the reality of the thing that was "Penance" was far from entertaining. The storyline and script was a scambled and incohesive dumpsterfire, and with each passing minute it got more and more difficult to suffer through the ordeal. And I ended up giving up on "Penance" 55 minutes into the torment. At that point it was just clear that the movie's script and storyline wasn't going to improve. So I tossed the towel into the ring and gave up out of sheer and utter boredom and disinterest in the movie.

So writer and director Jake Kennedy most certainly failed to entertain me with this 2009 thriller. And I use the word 'thriller' here very loosely, because the movie wasn't much of anything, aside from a cluttered mess.

I am especially dumbfounded that with names such as Jason Connery, Michael Rooker, Graham McTavish, Lochlyn Munro, Tony Todd and James Duval on the cast list that "Penance" didn't amount to anything at all. Well, I suppose even actors and actresses fire blanks once in a while.

If you enjoy thrillers, then do yourself a favor and don't waste 85 minutes on the ordeal that is "Penance". Some of us suffered through this in lesser or greater length so you don't have to.

And believe you me when I say that I am never returning to watch the remaining 30 minutes of the movie. I just don't simply care about the characters of the mockery that was supposed to resemble a storyline.

My rating of "Penance" lands on a one out of ten stars.