Diana: El musical

I gave it a one because zero stars is not an option. A jaw dropping event. Hysterical, stupid, but ultimately, just damned depressing. Is this really where musical theater has gone? Into the hands of rank amateurs? It had to be written by the fifteen year old nephew of one of the producers who based his knowledge of the story on tabloid headlines. Not tabloid stories, just the headlines! If this opened during the Golden Age of Rodgers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Loewe, Jule Styne and Frank Loesser, it would have closed at intermission. Today it will run five years and stupid theatergoers will jump to their feet screaming with delight at the curtain call. Like I said a depressing example of NYC theater today. Rotten music, second grade version of events, inane lyrics, embarrassing performances, ugly design and inept direction and choreography Did I mention I find it insulting, demoralizing, and sad. Oh and that it's hateful in every respect.

Ridiculous, laughable, toe curlingly awful.

More questions than answers...Why didn't they ask some English people to check the script? Why are the paparazzi in 1940s fancy dress? Why was Wales labelled? What were they thinking making this at all? Is it actually supposed to be a comedy?

A lyrically bankrupt torture scene lasting two hours cleverly edited to feel like four.

The only saving grace is the use of the word "sod" five times (an underrated insult) and Barbara Cartland's introduction of James Hewitt, the majesty of which is a sight to behold.

I laughed so hysterically through this I was brought to tears multiple times. A+ acid trip of cringe, awe and downright befuddlement.

Anyone that rated this above a 2 needs to be examined.

Once my dog ate a large section of cooked turkey giblets string included and when he did a poo the string ran through the middle of it holding section of poo together in one long line. That's what this is like in terms of its musical strength. It's one bit of poo strung together by very poor string-like dialogue.

This doesn't know what it is or what it's trying to be is the take-home feeling I had. The cast aren't bad as in their vocals and performances (characters aside) are pretty sharp and don't miss but they're lost in the tack. I feel bad for the cast to be honest they must have known this was a big chance to take and it was gonna be loved or loathed. Maybe it will do well or at least better as a live stage show complete with audience but I can recall and sing at least one line from every song having just watched it the once so that's how mediocre and run of the mill generic, predictable and generally naff and unremarkable the songs are.

Stage, costumes, lighting etc - really well done. Just not enough to carry the rest unfortunately.