Christmas at the Ranch

I was looking forward to something to get me into the holiday spirit, something nice and calm. I decided on this title because it looked like it might have some nice scenery... I live on a ranch and the sights here are some of the most beautiful I'd ever seen.

Well, anyways, it started off slow and boring and went down from there. Save your time and don't watch it.

I don't want to give it away for anyone who still wants to watch, but it's the typical romance storyline you've seen a million times.. everything you'd expect to happen, happens. There's no mystery, not 'wow', nothing. It's a "mhm, yep, as I thought" type of boredom.

Holiday romance TV movies are so reliably formulaic that anyone at all can make one, whether an actual TV network is involved or not - all that is necessary is to plug in some select details (setting, characters' personalities and jobs, flavoring in dialogue or scene writing), and call it a day. There is scant variation from one to the next, even in terms of quality; a rare few are surprisingly great, some are extra stale, but most hover in a light, fluffy, unremarkable space that make them decent enough for something cheesy, uninvolved, and heartwarming, though nothing that one is ever inclined to watch again. It takes little time at all after we begin watching 'Christmas at the ranch' that we can readily discern that it falls somewhere on the spectrum between the latter two categories. It's okay, and if one is looking for lesbian representation then the flick delivers, but it's saddled with weaknesses and shortcomings that place significant upper limits on just how much one will get out of it.

The ride is kind of rough from the start. Filmmaker Christin Baker and co-writer Julie Anton penned a screenplay that's extra thin and gentle, such that it almost feels excessive to say the storytelling bears substance. Most every character we meet has a single personality trait, and become wearisome even if they're not outright unlikable. Meemaw is nostalgic, and Charlie bears a furrowed brow; Bert and Bert Jr are unsavory, and Lauren is a total airhead; those figures with extra minor parts are even worse: the obnoxious, ignorant tech sector suit, the empty-headed sucker of a hippie, the judgmental restaurant host. At least chief characters Haley and Kate are given some tiny measure of complications and depth, but even that statement almost seems a step too far. As if there could be an even more delicate touch in any regard, the dialogue, scene writing, narrative, and plot development all seem to reflect the bare minimum, softest expression of each idea; it's not that there is no detail or meaningful consideration in the script, only that such detail and consideration is like the ghost of a whisper thereof. Even the central romance is treated so mildly - more like a B-plot that's deemphasized with weirdly little screen time - that it scarcely seems believable that Haley and Kate would ultimately get together.

Baker's direction is competent, at least, and the cast give earnest performances. For as sparingly as the romance is treated, Amanda Righetti and Laur Allen at least have some chemistry that we wish we could have gotten more of. The milquetoast music gets a bit tedious, but otherwise this is suitably well made in most every capacity: beautiful filming locations, nice hair and makeup, swell cinematography, and so on. Well made - but maybe rather bland and forgettable. Save for that it's a sapphic iteration in a genre that's overwhelmingly and tiresomely cisheteronormative, there's nothing about 'Christmas at the ranch' that makes it striking or special, and it won't stand out in a crowd in any way. A movie is made, a story is told, and we get what we came for, but it feels so much like the smallest, most placid, least possible version of what it could and should have been. And that's on top of a few distinct points that I'd spotlight as criticisms: that the obnoxious tech dude, who speaks well of the new scourge of the world known as NFTs, is NOT treated as the low-life he is; that the sucker of a hippie, who embraces all the most vexing of flimflam, is NOT dismissed out of hand, and moreover that the screenplay even elevates her and shows Haley to be of a similar mindset; that, after more than an hour of the most low-key storytelling that the picture could manage, the last acts gets oddly heavy-handed with a couple big beats.

On the balance I do like it, and it's at least good enough to check out as something pleasant and uninvolved. For as meagerly as it's written, however, with additional, discrete issues on top, I can't help but wonder if I'm being too nice as it is. It really would have taken so very little for the feature to have climbed another rung or two and come off better; with more care in the writing, and with care applied more evenly at that, this would have likely turned out more complete and impactful. It's not bad as it is, but the fact of the matter is that unless one has a specific interest of some sort, then there's no real reason to watch. Spend time with 'Christmas at the ranch,' by all means, and have a good time with it; just temper your expectations, and definitely don't go out of your way for it.

This was a nice enough, sort of festive move but unfortunately didn't feel very festive. It was based around Christmas, but it didn't have the magical feels.

It was nice to watch a diverse Christmas romance but there was just something missing with lack of chemistry between all actors.

Why IMDB needs me to write a minimum of 600 characters is beyond me, especially when sometimes there's not a whole lot to say about certain movies, and we aren't all movie critics writing a column.

Anyway, this was a pleasant time passer but not very memorable, and I don't see myself watching it again in the future.

Cute movie with attractive characters. I enjoyed watching this before Christmas. The fact that the two main characters are lesbians was a treat, but also in how their sexuality was relatively incidental and not a big deal. Definitely a PG movie, too. I wouldn't hesitate to watch it with family. My only complaint is it wasn't long enough.

I loved it was a christmas movie about lesbians, and the cowgirl helped this movie out a lot, but it's 100% cheesy, and the movie could have been made better if they put just a little bit more effort. Plus, it drove me nuts they decided to call the grandmother "me-maw". I know people that call their grandmother that, but it just sounded so stupid in this movie. Was that done on purpose? And what rancher drives anything but a truck? A Mitsubishi SUV, really? Maybe it's because I'm from Texas, but SURELY SOMEONE in the film crew drove a Chevy or a Ford F150! I know it's low budget, but there were so many opportunities to make this film more believable had they just put 10% more effort into it. Instead it gave me an opportunity to mock a movie for an hour... just my girlfriend's luck!