Bitch Ass

I was stuck for something to watch and I found this on one of many many streaming platforms here in the UK.

I checked the reviews on here and I can assure you this is a real review from a real person lol this is NO way as bad as people on here have made out.

I'm not gonna spoil it but if The People Under The Stairs is a 10 and Bones is a 1 this is easily a 6. With the late great Tony Todd playing the role as the "Crypt Keeper" I knew it couldn't be all bad.

The actual story is quite good. The acting is as really not that bad. It's cheesy like any anthology show of that era was.

The villain wasn't all that bad. He had a good backstory.

All in all was pretty good. Wouldn't watch it again, but definitely worth one watch.

The year is 1999, it is 666 Night (whatever that is?), a gang of teenagers break into a house in their Los Angeles neighbourhood (or should I say "Hood"?). Bad news for them, a hulking masked killer called (insert the title of the movie, ironically if I were to type it myself my review would probably be rejected) lives there, he likes to plays games - deadly games! The maniac's childhood name is Seesaw, it doesn't take a genius to figure that this film borrows from the "Saw" movies. One by one he plays gory games with the gang, the first one is "Operation", only instead of playing with the regular board game an actual human body is used. I thought this was a clever idea but sadly, like much of the film, it is poorly executed. Another game played is Connect 4, hooked up to a guillotine. This film stars an all black cast and it sort of boasts of featuring the first black killer to don a face mask. I'm fine with this, I love to watch all horror movies, but needless to say it will not appeal to everyone. The quality of acting is a mixed bunch, overall it is pretty amateur though horror legend Tony Todd has a small but welcome part as a horror TV host. There are a few flashback scenes set in 1980, modern vehicles can be seen driving past characters who look fashion-wise at least 1990's. There are a few gory bits but nothing to get excited about. Looking at some of the reviews on here a number have obviously been written by people connected with the making of this turkey, take the high scoring ones with a large pinch of salt! Given that this movie was made on a tiny budget I will give the makers some credit, initially I thought that it was going to be worse than what it turned out to be. However a turd is still a turd no matter how much you polish it, know what I'm saying?

This film manages to carve out a niche for itself with a story that showcases some inventive ideas despite its limited budget. While it's commendable how the film attempts to make the most of its resources, there are several areas where it falls short, leaving it more of a mixed bag than a standout feature.

One of the film's strengths is its approach to storytelling. The premise is intriguing, and it's clear that the filmmakers put thought into crafting a narrative that stands apart from more conventional fare. The story, while not without its merits, does offer a refreshing change of pace and keeps you engaged with its unique plot twists. It's evident that the filmmakers tried to make the best out of what they had, and for that, they deserve some credit.

However, the positives are overshadowed by several notable shortcomings. The performances, unfortunately, leave much to be desired. While the cast tries to bring their characters to life, the acting often feels wooden and unconvincing, detracting from the film's overall impact. This lack of strong performances means that emotional moments fall flat, and it becomes difficult to fully invest in the characters or their fates.

The cinematography is another area where the film struggles. The film suffers from inconsistent visual quality, with some scenes poorly lit or awkwardly framed. This uneven cinematography takes away from the immersion and can make the viewing experience feel jarring at times. Instead of enhancing the atmosphere, it often feels like a missed opportunity to elevate the film's impact.

Moreover, the plot contains a number of implausibilities that can be hard to overlook. The story takes several leaps in logic that stretch credibility, making it difficult to stay fully engaged. These implausibilities, combined with some clumsy storytelling choices, result in a narrative that, while ambitious, ultimately feels strained and unconvincing.

In conclusion, this is a film that showcases some creativity and makes an admirable effort with its limited budget. However, its shortcomings in performance, cinematography, and plausibility hinder its overall effectiveness. It's a mixed bag that might appeal to those who appreciate unique stories despite their execution flaws, but for many, it might be a case of good intentions falling short of a fully realized execution.

The movie looks cheap but I still had a good time watching it. The kills were surprisingly gory. Liked the board death games.

Pretty decent cast I thought. Some wooden acting due to awkward writing, but also good moments.

Some parts like the grandma showing up near the end couldve been thought out better. The opening credits are a nice idea but the font used looks cheap and rushed.

Editing was choppy at parts and pretty noticeable.

I do think this movie deserved a better title IMO. The title holds back how serious the movie gets at times.

Killer was a little cringey but not too crazy. I guess the accent just threw me off at times.

But I liked the movie for the kills, tone and some good performances.

Notice how the 8 and over star reviewers have only reviewed 1 movie? It's because they worked on this movie or know someone who did. The lighting is horrible, the acting is weak, it's not original. The only thing original about this is that it's an all black cast. If you're looking for a dumb movie to watch, because you have nothing else to watch, just watch nothing. It would be better than this trash. The only reason I gave it 3 stars is because people actually took time out of their lives to make this movie. I cant knock the hustle, but I'm knocking the outcome. I was cringing from the very beginning. Trying way too hard to be "hip" and "original" when it's far from it. Take my advice and watch Zombeavers instead.