Horny Teenagers Must Die!

For the love of our saviour can Hollywood stop making these terrible movies.

Hollywood still doesn't understand that casting actors and actresses in their late 20's and 30's when they are supposed to be teenagers takes away from any credibility. All the characters look too old especially the main guy, the colored guy and two of the girls. Terrible acting I couldn't take this turkey serious. Don't even bother it's not worth a rental.

P. S: This movie says it was released in January but yet there are only two previous reviews and currently less than 200 votes. I guess our fellow experts nogodnomasters and paul_haakonsen for whatever reason have not seen this movie yet considering they watch and review every single trash movie that comes out. Where is our other fellow studio shill kannibalcorpsegrinder?? I'm waiting for his typical "solid effort" robotic review.

My question: which one of these "expertise" will review this movie first? I am patiently waiting. Just remember I win because I was here first gents!

*UPDATED EDIT (12/8/2024): Well I have just come back to this movie and I noticed that our fellow kannibalcorpsegrinder has "reviewed" this movie and is the first of the three aforementioned. And of course he would give a predictable robotic positive review. To no one's surprise.

This movie went all out with some of the kills. The second scene has a guy getting his D*** cut off so you know what kind of movie you're getting into. It's decently written because it really did hit all those old slasher tropes which made the film almost feel nostalgic for me. They have a twist it didn't land completely for me because there were a lot of flaws to that logic, but it was still a fun film overall. I think if this film was made it in the 80s it would have fit in a little more. If you're looking for something that's mindless fun it's worth checking out I'm glad I watched it. -TheBigGuyOnHorror.

Given it's title, this is most certainly a way to garner people's attention. Not as eye catching as 2016's cult classic "Don't F-k in the Woods" but it's something.

However as a film it is the standard but more modern version of throwback 1980's teen cabin in the woods slasher films. First the acting isn't great and highly overacted by a majority of them, with their deliveries tittering from unintentionally comical to just unconvincing.

The characters are nothing special (most annoying) but they do try and give some of them some background story (ex. Girlfriend not fully faithful, a couple "expecting"). There's also another character which seemed to get bullied by everyone as it made us wonder why they even invited him/her along.

As with these type of films, there are several brief scenes of explicit skin scattered throughout. The kills are standard with the killer using knives to stab, swords to slash heads off, eye gauges with a rake and even an adult toy shoved down a character's throat. These kills are very split second quick and the camera zooms in on the kills ensuring not to show the killer, but their hands.

The film just isn't anything special but it does get better in the latter half when the kills ramp up. It's one of those "one by one each character dies" type of film. Also there's a very predictable twist in the end regarding who the killer is. There are clues at the beginning which ultimately make it slightly obvious. Perhaps the best part of this film is figuring out who the killer is and how the reveal will unfold.

I told my wife right at the start I don't have high hopes for this movie. Horny Teenagers Must Die is not that bad of a flick it's actually pretty enjoyable. It's got quite a good cast for a larger than expected body count the kills were pretty decent. It's independent so you know the acting isn't gonna be great but overall the cast does a fairly decent job. First five minutes had a great body dismemberment gag definitely worth checking out. It's a worthy entry I can't say it's gonna be a Friday the 13th classic but I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I'm happy I bought it.

-Chety & Lycans Horror Party Massacre.

David Zagorski with a team of young but accomplished actors took on the horror tropes of a cabin in the woods and made the best of it. I featured this on my #Splatterday2K watchalong and we all had a blast. With a diverse cast and some very predictable but fun moments, the movie is very enjoyable. It has all the must haves: blood, wacky kills, sex, boobs, innuendos, unlikable characters, and outhouses. I really enjoyed what they were doing with this flick and of course, they threw in the inevitable plot twist at the end that made me chuckle. Give it a chance. If you think you could do a better movie, go for it. I will watch it! Make your movie, friends!!!